Thoughts on covetousness

Proverbs 21:25 – 26, “The desire of the slothful killeth him; for his hands refuse to labour. He coveteth greedily all the day long: but the righteous giveth and spareth not.”

The tenth commandment seems mundane, compared to the first nine. Situated behind murder, adultery, stealing, and lying, the command not to covet almost seems like an afterthought. Yet Proverbs warns us that the desires of the covetous person actually have a very destructive effect. Coveting is a root sin that results in several ugly fruits, including slothfulness, stubbornness, and selfishness.

Coveting is the sin of strongly desiring anything that God has not permitted us to have. This is different from having goals, such as “I would like to own a car someday.” Coveting runs counter to God’s will for my life, since God’s will varies from person to person. What God allows one person to own may not necessarily be God’s will for another person.

I Timothy 6 covers the issue of covetousness. Verse 8 gives us a great outline for what we should expect in this life: “And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.” That’s a fairly short list! Food and clothes. Survival and decency.

Covetousness likes to add to the list of things I need in order to be happy. None of these things are necessarily sinful in themselves, and they may even be God’s will for some people. But if God takes them away, it is wrong for me to complain or to expect others to supply them. My job is to pay for the food and raiment and then let God supply the rest if He desires—either through a job or through unexpected gifts. Sometimes it is tempting to make sure the covetous items are paid for, and then let others pay for the food and raiment. But that would be a sin.

Before we call an agency or church asking them to help us cover our necessities, are there any things on this list that we could cut from our monthly budget?

home internet and/or high speed internet

Netflix

cable/other paid TV

processed foods

dessert

soda

meat every day (Have you explored other healthy forms of protein, such as eggs and meat?)

phones for non-working family members

data and long-distance for phones

subscriptions and memberships

pets

restaurants and/or fast-food

entertainment

concerts

new clothes and shoes (Second-hand stores sell gently used items for less than 5% retail cost.)

brand name items

expensive vehicles

college (Explore ways for students to pay their own way and work as they go.)

vacations, time shares

amusement parks

air conditioning (Exception: Oxygen users might require regulated air in their homes to breathe.)

sports/gym memberships/hunting

Commanding Children

It is often said that "babies don't come with an instruction manual!" But . . . we actually do have one. It isn't handed out in the delivery room, but we have many specific instructions about parenting found in Scripture.

Because our culture is quite divorced from the truth of Scripture, many parents feel quite helpless about how to command their children. I recently had a young parent texting me in frustration and weariness because she needed prayer about her defiant middle-schooler. Parents who have not grown up under the umbrella of loving rules and godly reinforcements find themselves begging for cooperation (and usually just retreating) instead of making definitive commands that produce real reformation.

Here are just eleven Scripture verses that may help us to find success in parenting. There is an Instruction Manual!

Positive examples from Scripture

Gen. 18:19, "For I (God) know him (Abraham), that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment . . ."

I Sam. 3:8, "And the Lord called Samuel again the third time. And he arose and went to Eli, and said, Here am I; for thou didst call me . . ."

II Tim. 3:15, "And that from a child thou hast known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus."

Negative examples from Scripture

I Sam. 2:29, "Why kick ye (Eli) at my (God's) sacrifice and at mine offering, which I have commanded in my habitation; and honorest thy sons above me . . ."

I Kings 1:6, "And his (Absalam's) father (David) had not displeased him at any time in saying, 'Why hast thou done so? . . ."

Commands from Scriptures

Prov. 22:6, "Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

Proverbs 23:13-14, "Withhold not correction from the child; for if thou beatest (spanking) him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."

Proverbs 13:24, "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes ('early in life')."

Proverbs 19:18, "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying."

Eph. 6:1 - 2, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise."

James 1:5, "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth ('rebuke or shame') not; and it shall be given him."

Weeping vs. Whining

Fighting a cold today--and therefore, fighting the selfish desire to complain. The Bible calls us to "weep with those who weep," but we are not commanded to "whine with those who whine." 😊 So between kleenexes today, I'm asking myself, "What's the difference?" And, "Can complaining actually be a form of idolotry?"

Weeping can be comforted with genuine kindness, even though there may not be any visible answers. "Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted."

Whining glories in attention for myself and often resents actual solutions.

Weeping results in brokenness--a profound realization of dependence on God.

Whining seeks to puff myself up with martyrdom and manipulation of others for forced sympathy.

Weeping causes me long for Heaven.

Whining causes me to seek earthly gratification in self.

Weeping finds consolation in being with others of similar trial.

Whining prefers to glory in being "the only one" with my problems. ("Elijah syndrome)

Weeping craves victory: Reading about people who have overcome this illness or hardship; always craving healing and solutions. (Hope!)

Whining seeks negativity. "Hope" threatens that my whining flesh may forfeit the cheap rewards of complaining (guilting my family; talking only of myself; treating my cold with the same status as a genuine tragedy).

And for so many of you who are truly in that "weeping season" right now, battling cancer, recent losses, and other crushing circumstances, I am thankful for your vulnerability in asking for prayer. You give us a mission in our prayer closets, and your courage reminds the rest of us to QUIT OUR WHINING!

Is Jesus Enough?

What you feel you cannot live without (besides basic survival needs--I Tim. 6:8) is your god (or God). It (or He) will drive your decisions and chart the course of your life. "Thou, even Thou, art Lord alone." (Nehemiah 9:6).

financial ease
comfort
friends 
the praise of man
excitement
control (or perceived control)
entertainment
status
relationships
a certain job
possessions
a hobby
goals for the future

Is Jesus enough for you?

The Value of a Praying Friend

With two-going-on-three kids out of our little nest now, I spend a lot of time reflecting on what has helped me as a mom. More and more, I find myself just THANKFUL for the people who have loved my children well.

Young moms, your truest friend might not be your age or your walk of life. But if you have a friend--married, single, experienced, or childless--who dedicates herself to praying for your child to get saved; who cries when your child struggles and never gloats to hear of a failing; who cheers on your child's victories and does not view them as competition to be torn down; who values your child as God made him, not as the world would like to mold him for their own use; who can listen with grace and pray with power and expect great things from God: If you have found such a friend, you are blessed manifold!

I am blessed over and over and over, and I'm so thankful for the many people in my life over the last 20 years who have loved our children so well.

Not of works

Cain represents a most common sinful temptation: To prove our own goodness to God; to find acceptance through our own self-efforts and rituals (Gen.4:1-5). But Titus 3:5 puts up a stop sign in front of this religion of good works: "Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us . . ."

When I stand before Jesus someday, there will only be one reason why He will allow me into heaven: Because I asked Him to save me from my sins. "Not of works, lest any man should boast." (Eph. 2:9)

Feelings

It was the middle of the night—dark, quiet, and foreboding--and I was eight years old, wide awake in my bed, distressed by suffocating fear. Although I had asked Jesus to be my Savior three years earlier, I still struggled with doubts about my salvation. I thought about the time I had found a purple crayon on the floor at school and drew pictures all over the carpeting in my kindergarten classroom. Surely a “real” Christian would never commit a terrible sin like that! Maybe I wasn’t really saved. Maybe I was hopeless.

The darkness seemed to thicken as my imagination overwhelmed me. Suddenly in the shadows, I thought I detected a figure looming toward me. It must the devil! I was doomed! In panic, I screamed for my Dad. And the shadow disappeared as soon as my Dad appeared.

That night, sitting in the living room on Dad’s lap in our wooden rocker, my Dad explained to me that the devil likes to use our emotions as weapons against us. Since I was a Christian, the devil had lost his battle for my soul. But if I allowed him, the devil could still cripple my effectiveness for God, through my own emotions.

The valuable lesson in the rocking chair has helped me many times since. The devil still tries to use my emotions, watching in smug satisfaction while I struggle under the crush of anxiety, inadequacy, pride, selfishness, comparison, fear, hopelessness, anger, resentment, self-pity, doubt, defensiveness, and other ugly feelings that sap my joy.

But the shadows disappear when our Father appears. Listen to these comforting words of Jesus in John 16:33, and claim them for yourself when Satan tries to defeat you as he often does me:

“These things have I spoken unto you, that in me, ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”

Not of Men

"Paul, an apostle, (not of men . . .)" Galatians 1:1

Not called of men, nor called to please men. The driving Force in our lives ought only to be Jesus Christ.

A number of years ago, an individual who had faced great hardship early in life told my husband and me that during his difficult circumstances, he had determined never to experience that same hardship again. Although it is reasonable to avoid pain (we all do!), there is a subtle form of idolatry in those promises: "I will never be robbed again." "I will never be hungry again." "I will never be lonely again." "I will never be left out again." "I will never feel ugly again." Those promises become mission statements, dictating the choices we make for the rest of our lives. In other words, they become our gods. And false gods always demand that we become their slaves.

Sometimes we are most inclined to worship what we once could not have. If we face deprivation, we are tempted to become slaves of materialism and overindulgence, promising ourselves we will never be cold, or hungry, or impoverished again. If we felt like outsiders early in life, we may be tempted to become slaves of our peer group--unwilling to do or say anything that might disturb the acceptance of others. If we have been victimized by other people, we can be tempted to lust for power and control. It makes natural sense, but natural sense is often what cuts between us and the perfect will of God.

What if doing right means that you will indeed be vulnerable again? What if choosing to please the Lord means that others might reject you? What if God's will for your life takes you to a season of loneliness? What if standing up for truth means you will have to rebel against the crowd?

What controls your choices? You have just been introduced to your god.

"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20

Keep Your Heart

It matters what we think.

"Lord, who shall abide in thy tabernacle? . . . he that walketh uprightly, and worketh righteousness, and speaketh the truth in his heart." (Ps. 15:2)

The other day as I was shoe-shopping with our boys, a song came over the store speaker. Not being a "disciple" of pop culture, I don't know the singer or the song, but the message was that "I'm going to do what I want, and no one is going to tell me what to do." It may sound convincing, but there are more than a few verses that dispute that attitude.

We don't always have control of what comes over a speaker in the mall, but we have options when it comes to what we allow into our minds. JC Penney chose my playlist Tuesday night--but I choose my playlist at home. Music, internet sites, friends, books, and even our own internal dialogue can sway us from speaking the truth in our hearts.

"But refuse profane and old wives' fables, and exercise thyself rather unto godliness." (I Tim. 4:7)

The wisest man who ever lived--and incidentally, one who experienced catastrophic failure when he stopped taking his own advice--said this:

"Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life." (Prov. 4:23)

Be the Mom

A parenting thought: Maybe this will encourage young moms who are just beginning their journey of parenting.

A number of years ago, I had a little girl come on the church van from a very difficult home situation. Because her home life had been complicated by drugs and some of its tragic consequences, she was not familiar with the blessing of loving parameters. Instead of trying to listen to the Bible story, she would run around the room or hide under tables. I finally told her one day that if she continued to just get up and run around, she would not be able to play on the swings after church.

As might be expected, she got up and ran around during story time. When we went to the playground after church, I asked her to stand next to me while I supervised the other children playing. She was extremely startled by this "miscarriage of justice," and she began to cry and wail, "PLEASE, PLEASE change your mind!" I just told her that I do not change my mind, and so she and I stood there together the whole time--watching the children swing while she wailed and cried her misfortune.

The following week, I stopped at her house again to pick her up for Sunday school. As she bounced happily into the van, she paused before getting into her seat and announced with a smile, "Hi, Mrs. Valentin! You don't change your mind!" From then on, she worked much harder at trying to stay in her seat, and I do not recall her ever throwing a fit again when I enforced a rule. And once she discovered that she was not in charge of Junior Church, we had a wonderful time. I was sad when she moved away, because she had become a very special student to me.

It is true that there are times we are forced to admit that we have made a rash or ill-advised decision, and we have to change our minds. We are human, and sometimes we make dumb choices that need to be retracted lest we hurt our kids.

But the majority of our decisions as parents need to be thought through ahead of time and then written in marker, not pencil. If we do not respect our own decisions enough to stand by them, why should our children respect our decisions? If we convey to our children that we will cave in if they cry, scream, throw a fit--or wail at the side of a church playground--we can expect to see that exact behavior repeated over, and over, and over again. Kids are smart: They do what works. If whining, screaming, and pestering work, they will continue to do it.

Jesus told His disciples, "But I say unto you, Swear not at all . . . But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay:" (Matthew 5:34-37). We shouldn't have to swear, "I promise!" or "I REALLY mean it this time!" Our word is our honor. When we say "nay" ("no"), it should stick. Parents who keep their word keep their children's trust and respect.

Sometimes parents think it is OK to change their minds on a whim, as long as they add a dose of hostility to go along with their inconsistency. I've seen moms at the store say "no" a dozen times to a screaming toddler who wants a toy--only to put the toy into their cart with an exasperated, "Oh, FINE! But don't ask for anything else! I'm so sick of your screaming!" The child filters out mom's whiny lecture and takes note: He won the toy.

So be the mom who rarely changes her mind.