There are a few "take away" lessons from the Incognito/Martin case that are worth mentioning--especially for young people. Since our kids enjoy watching football, I'm more interested in how this affects my kids than how it affects Mr. Incognito. The final analysis of these events may exonerate Incognito, but the publicity itself has been punishment. Ultimately, this is about peer pressure, ...and everyone faces these same arguments somewhere along the way.
1. "Subcultures" don't get to re-write the laws of right and wrong that are already written on everyone's conscience by God--whether it's a sports team, the military, a church, a college dorm, or a job. The NFL will have to decide whether anyone broke official rules--or even laws. That's not mine to decide. But everywhere you go in life, people will try to use that argument on you: "I know this sounds bad, but this is just the way it's done here." You can play that game--whether it's about hiding tax liabilities, or bullying, or cheating your boss out of an honest day's pay--and sometimes you might even win. Sometimes you might lose. Guantanamo Bay soldiers thought they had a small corner of the universe where cruelty against humans was permissible, since these were enemies of the free-world who were very evil people. But when the YouTube video was posted, the rest of the world didn't buy it. (And it's safe to argue here that there is a distinction between "toughen up, man" talk, and trash talk. No one is asking the Dolphins to offer each of their players a blankey.)
2. Victims don't play by our script. Every bully--Facebook bullies, school bullies, youth group bullies--feels "burned" at some point by a victim who went rogue. Inevitably, people want to blame Martin. I'm not here to justify his choices and responses to his teammates. Maybe he appears fickle and wimpy, and unable to relate honestly with his teammates. But how often have we seen people teasing a weaker person, and the aggressors will say, "Don't worry--he takes a joke really well. He can handle it. We're just super good friends that way." Or maybe not. Maybe he's just laughing because he thinks he can please you by playing along. Sometimes they put up with it for decades, and sometimes they snap. When they do, your arguments will disappear into thin air, and like Incognito, you may find yourself wishing you had just stuck with the Golden Rule.
I'm not Incognito's judge, and we all have to answer for our own choices. But this situation isn't new, and young people will face these same choices for the rest of their lives. Just do right, regardless of what those around you are doing, and you can save yourself a whole lot of answering. "The wise man seeth the evil and hideth himself, but the simple pass on and are punished."
2. Victims don't play by our script. Every bully--Facebook bullies, school bullies, youth group bullies--feels "burned" at some point by a victim who went rogue. Inevitably, people want to blame Martin. I'm not here to justify his choices and responses to his teammates. Maybe he appears fickle and wimpy, and unable to relate honestly with his teammates. But how often have we seen people teasing a weaker person, and the aggressors will say, "Don't worry--he takes a joke really well. He can handle it. We're just super good friends that way." Or maybe not. Maybe he's just laughing because he thinks he can please you by playing along. Sometimes they put up with it for decades, and sometimes they snap. When they do, your arguments will disappear into thin air, and like Incognito, you may find yourself wishing you had just stuck with the Golden Rule.
I'm not Incognito's judge, and we all have to answer for our own choices. But this situation isn't new, and young people will face these same choices for the rest of their lives. Just do right, regardless of what those around you are doing, and you can save yourself a whole lot of answering. "The wise man seeth the evil and hideth himself, but the simple pass on and are punished."
No comments:
Post a Comment