Soup's On!

One of the blessings of having six kids growing up in our house is that we are constantly learning how to strategize with our grocery money.  The apostle Paul said, “I have learned to be abased . . .”  The truth is, whether we’re dealing with physical, emotional, or financial hardships—there really is a learning curve!  Maybe you are wondering how to save money in an economy where prices seem to climb and wages seem to diminish.  Have you ever tried making soup from scratch?  Let me encourage you to explore the world of SOUP! 

If you are used to buying canned soups (a costly investment, and not always as healthy as Cambells would have us believe), here is just a little tutorial on soups.   It’s easier than you think, and you will come to appreciate the taste of healthy  food.   

Soup is basically made up of 4 parts, plus seasonings.  You can mix-and-match based on your preferences and the availability of certain foods. 

1.  Stock.  The broth, or the watery part of the soup, makes up most of the soup and creates the flavor you and I love on a cold, winter day.  So what do you feel like having today?  You can make your own stock in several ways.  Do you have any bones leftover from meat?  We aren’t accustomed to buying large cuts of meat very often at our house, but since we just finished Christmas, I happen to have a ham bone in my fridge.  You can also use chicken bones, beef bones—really anything you have on hand.   If you don’t have bones (and I often don’t), and you want to “cheat” a little, you can use powdered seasoning.  The nutritional purists will be alarmed at this point, but seasonings  do make vegetables very yummy.  Orrington Farms, Kitchen Bouquet, and Mrs. Jamisons are all nice brands of broth base that come in little jars.  Just a few tablespoons go a long way.   (I’ll leave it to the food blogs to educate us on how to make homemade broth out of chicken feet. )  Vegetable stock is also very common.  Tomato juice is handy for me, since I have oodles of tomato juice on hand from last summer. 

2.  Protein.  Meat is the obvious choice, but of course—we often don’t have meat on hand.  God gave us a much healthier, less expensive product for protein:  Beans.  If your family can handle beans, have at it!  J  One bag of dry pinto beans runs between $1.19 -1.50, depending on where you shop, and it easily feeds a family of 8 (usually with leftovers).  Here’s the key:  ALWAYS SOAK DRY BEANS THE DAY BEFORE YOU WANT TO COOK THEM.  Just dump them into a bowl with water covering them, and leave them alone.  The next day, cook them in a pot for about 3 hours (or less—just test them for softness).   The price difference between dry beans and canned beans is amazing.  Don’t be afraid to soak and cook your own beans.  Another overlooked protein source is dairy.  Creamy soups have protein because of the milk—just not as much protein as bean soups.  Remember: it’s the protein that keeps us from getting hungry.  The higher the protein content of your soup, the longer it will last. 

3.  Starch.  You can skip this step—especially if you’re dieting-- but if you want a thicker soup, starch will stretch a recipe.  Rice, barley (*pre-soak, just like beans), diced potatoes,  corn,  noodles, and even flour (in cream soups) are all fillers for soups.  Just add the starch about an hour before you want to eat the soup.  Beans can double  here as a starch as well. 

 4.  Vegetables.  In soup, vegetables don’t taste like vegetables; they taste like stock.  When our son, Nathan, was a baby, he LOVED carrots that had stewed in a pot with roasted chicken.  He used to cry when the carrots were gone.  At least one hour before you want to serve the soup, chop up any vegetables you have on hand:   carrots, celery, an onion, a bag of peas, tomatoes, slivers of sweet potato, bell peppers, cauliflower, spinach, kale—the list really is endless.  And of course, all varieties of  beans make an appearance on this list as well!  They really are a gift to the thrifty economist!

 The longer the soup simmers on medium/low heat, the more tender the vegetables, and the more likely the veggies will taste like your broth.   *Add water if your soup starts to cook down.

5.  Extra seasonings—salt, pepper, thyme, etc.  Everything is optional, per your taste and special needs.   Some broth bases are already seasoned, so don’t over-salt.   Many soups come with interesting variations for “toppers” to serve with them—sour cream, corn chips, grated cheese, croutons, etc.

 

So now you can see how some familiar American soups were “built.”  This list is not exhaustive, but I hope that it inspires you to try some new soups in 2014—a healthy, frugal choice that will save you money in the check-out line as well as in the doctor’s office!

 

Stock    +       Protein         +          Starch    +                 Vegetables    =       Soup   

Ham bone         pinto beans                  pinto beans                      variety                  Ham & Bean

Tomato             Venison                        kidney or pinto beans   tomatoes                            Chili

Chicken            chicken                        noodles or rice                   variety                      Chic. Noodle

Beef broth          beef                                 barley                            variety                     Beef & Barley

Chicken             milk, cheese                      flour                        broccoli, onion, celery         Broccoli

Tomato          Beef or venison                 noodles                             variety                         Veg.  Beef

Tomato         Beef or vensison              black beans, corn               variety                                 Taco

Chicken                milk, cheese                      potatoes                     carrots, onions                   Potato

Chicken             chicken or rabbit              northern beans                    variety                      White Chili

Chick. or ham        split peas                            split peas                         carrots, onions                  Split Pea

tomato             lentils                               lentils                               variety                                 Lentil

 

 

 

 

What Jesus Can Do

(I appreciate my husband Jason showing me this truth from Scripture--)

Homosexuality is not a new sin, and the reaction we are seeing is not new either. In Genesis 19 is the story of Lot, an unprofitable believer, trying to keep the homosexuals of his city from assaulting his guests (angels in disguise). In verse 7, Lot weakly appeals to the homosexuals as friends and says, "I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly." In verse 9, here is their response: "This one fellow (Lot) came in to sojourn, and he will needs be a judge: now will we deal worse with thee, than with them." In other words--"You are judging us, and now we will be harsher with you than what we had intended for your guests." Sound familiar?

While there is no place for ridicule, name-calling, self-righteousness, or bullying toward any sinner, we do well to instruct ourselves from the Bible rather than from a politically-correct culture that has long despised the convicting power of Scripture. "The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul." (Psalm 19:7) The same Bible that teaches that God loves sinners teaches us what a sinner is. To skip over the bad news is to nullify the good news.

This Christmas, let us not forget what the name Jesus means, as His coming was told to Joseph: "And thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins." (Matthew 1:21)

The power of the blood of Christ is not just about getting us into heaven "someday," but also in delivering us today from the power of sin in our lives. And so, from one sinner to another--Jesus loves you. He came to save you from your sins. What a Savior!

Six Parenting Traps to Avoid

My brothers like to reminisce about the time they fooled me into running out into our garden to “see something, quick!”  They both stood excitedly in the soft, spring dirt, waving their hands and shouting.  I ran out to see “it,” and promptly fell into a hole they had dug and disguised under straw.  Having had to endure my bossiness and my many hours in front of the mirror each day (trying to figure out how to use a curling iron), they had appointed themselves my “Ministers of Humility.”  And that day, they were profoundly rewarded. 

Satan has laid traps for us as well.  (Please ignore the metaphor here that compares my brothers to “Satan.”  They really are wonderful people!).   Of course, there are more than six traps, but here are six that I can relate to because I’ve done or been tempted to do all of them.  Maybe you have too.  Let’s talk about these pitfalls, with the hope of avoiding them next time Satan waves his hands and draws us toward them. 

 

1.  Not aiming for the heart.  Solomon, in his earlier (and wiser) years, implored, “My son, give me thine heart.”  (Proverbs 23:26)  Those of us with strong personalities can drag good behavior out of anyone, through intimidation and filibuster.  But that is no guarantee we have our children’s hearts.  One very quick and easy test is this:  “What do my children do when I’m not around?”  Selective obedience is a tell-tale sign that our children are simply enduring a set of rules, which will be abandoned as soon as they “get out” (or even before).   Poor attitudes, provocative  Facebook posts and “selfies”, lack of communication with authority, rebellious friends, a curiosity toward the world and a lack of interest in the Lord, inappropriate music, photos, or videos on their phones, and a muted desire to be around family all point to a heart that has strayed.   Parents who think they can “force” that heart back will be frustrated.   Hearts must be drawn, not dragged.  And of course, our primary mission is to make sure that Jesus has our children’s hearts in the first place, through the salvation that He gives and the power of His Holy Spirit throughout their Christian life.  We do well to pray that God will use anything or anyone to allow our kids will get caught when they are getting involved with secret sin.  Sure, it’s embarrassing, and comes with high consequences the older they get.  But what’s your goal?    

 

2.  Financing things we don’t believe in.  Otherwise known as “enablement,” this practice has deadly consequences spiritually.  Jesus said, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”  (Matthew 6:21)  Parents who believe in godly living do themselves and great disservice to hand out spending money to kids who promptly buy inappropriate CD’s, revealing clothes, and concert tickets to groups mom and dad do not endorse.  At our church, we have a benevolent fund.  When people call for assistance, we are sometimes able to purchase groceries for them, fill a prescription, or put some gas into their car.  But we never, ever hand them cash.  We have a responsibility to make sure that our benevolent fund is financing formula and heart medicine, not weed and whiskey.  If you cannot control what your children buy or trust them to make wise choices (“He buys his video games from his friends at school!”), then stop the cash flow.   For teenagers who have jobs, call a “spending freeze” and send those paychecks to the bank (they have camp to pay for next summer, right?).   

 

3.  Not understanding those “devices.”  I hate to admit it, but it was my son who first informed me that his ipod had a parental control feature on it.  When it came to researching ahead of time—Epic. Fail. on my part, for not using Google.   Thankfully, Jonathan helped me out on that one.  We owe it to our children to know everything their devices are capable of doing.  We can’t say it loudly enough, but let’s try:  USE FILTERS.  Every internet-capable device in our homes—smart phones, ipods, ipads, you-name-it, should have an internet filter.  It’s good for Mom and Dad, too.  Safe Eyes is just one of many filters, but we are thankful for friends who tipped us off to this good program.  We receive a Weekly Usage Summary on each user, including data that shows any attempts to enter forbidden sites.   This is not because I don’t trust my kids; it’s because I don’t trust the devil.  He hates my kids.  Remember:  The devil is a fool, but he’s not an idiot.  He knows our weaknesses even more than we do, and the Bible says he prowls around, “seeking whom he may devour.” (I Peter 5:8)  Our only safety is to walk with Someone wiser than all of us:    “Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world.”  (I John 4:4)

 

4.  Failing to enjoy the treasure of children.  Life is busy, and we’re going to be late—Get your shoes on and meet me in the car.  Put that down—we’ve got to go!  And life spins us along, like a soccer ball, until we suddenly look back and realize our kids are almost grown up.  I have a memory—It should be a good memory, but instead it’s a convicting one.   I was running late to choir practice on Sunday night.  I had Kaitlyn swinging along in her car set, with an over-stuffed diaper bag slung over my shoulder and the twins each held at the wrist as we flew across the parking lot.  Suddenly, Jonathan bent over to examine a small piece of gravel in the parking lot.  I didn’t have time that evening for gravel, but before I could finish my lecture and yank him along—a lady came up behind us and sweetly said to Jonathan, “Did you find a pretty rock?”  Right there in the middle of the parking lot, she bent down to study it with him.  I was hostage to their science lesson, and since I couldn’t lecture her, I stood there awkwardly, watching her do what I should have had time to do myself:  Enjoy life with my son.  She wasn’t seeking to preach to me that day, but her sermon was not soon forgotten.   Slow down.  Our kids are attracted to people who like to be with them.  Either I can make it clear that I cherish my children and enjoy them—laughing at their goofy stories  and appreciating their talents, choosing to be with them in my free time—or I may find myself replaced by someone who can appreciate them more. 

 

5.  Preaching sermons we don’t believe or understand.   We discredit ourselves when we dive into topics we have not studied out.  II Timothy 2:15 is not a command to “read” the Bible; it’s a command to “study.”  Our children have special radar that enables them to detect when we are simply parroting a sermon we heard on the radio or a warning we read in an article, rather than prayerfully developing genuine convictions.  Be real.  “Easy come, easy go” standards, that constantly get tweaked because we don’t have solid convictions to stand on, produce rebellion.  Eventually, our kids quit listening.   I remember a man who loudly denounced a violent video game-- later purchasing that same game for his son!   I agree with his original sermon (we don’t do Grand Theft Auto here either), and  his severe shift to the wrong side of that issue  did more damage than just in the video game arena.  His son is learning not to place much stock in “early polling.”  Dad will cave eventually.   We have to do our own homework before we preach the sermon, and then stick by our well-proved convictions. 

 

6.  Selfish parenting.  Ugh.  I’m not proud of the time I made some clothes for Jessica that were just ugly.  She balked at wearing them (I’m not exactly a tailor), and I tried making her guilty for not “appreciating all that work!” She reluctantly wore them, out of obedience, but it was clearly under duress!  She’s been sweet to accept my apology and laugh about that these years later, but it wasn’t very funny at the time.  When we impose burdens on our children simply to satisfy our own selfishness, we display immaturity and—even worse—we train our children to live with false guilt.  Is it really a sin to dislike clothes that are universally perceived as “ugly”, just because we are proud of our masterpiece?  What about making a child feel guilty for losing a baseball game-- or mispronouncing a word or not being popular or not having a boyfriend or being overweight or not being musically inclined or stuttering? Even openly criticizing or mocking others outside of the family for their physical anomalies and mistakes communicates to our children, “You’d better not do that either!”  The trouble with selfish parenting is that those children eventually learn how to ignore guilt—which is not a skill we want our kids to be good at!  They need to learn to resolve genuine guilt (the kind that is always the result of actual sin, not just feeling inadequate because we failed to please others), through repentance and confession of sin (Proverbs 28:13).  False guilt over natural human behavior is nasty stuff because it sets our kids up to quench the Holy Spirit in the areas that really matter. 

 

We’re all students.  May the Holy Spirit be our teacher, not the world! 

"Let another man praise thee..."

Proverbs 27:2, "Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth . . ."

Bragging. It's like body odor--It always seems to smell worse on others than on ourselves. Why do we love to brag? Why do we promote ourselves, generously patting ourselves on the back and sharing stories that always place us in the best light (even at the expense of others)? Some brief thoughts on boastfulness, and... what it really tells about each of us:

1. Bragging ignores the Source of my gifts.

James Small wrote the poetry for the hymn, "I've Found a Friend, Oh, Such a Friend." His second stanza contains this compelling thought: "Naught that I have mine own I call, I hold it for the Giver. My heart, my strength, my life, my all are His, and His forever." Whatever thing we hold precious about ourselves that prompts us to brag--our abilities, intelligence, appearance, heritage--is merely a borrowed resource, with the intent of honoring God. Like a toddler who proudly carries his daddy's drill, we sometimes think that these borrowed tools have the effect of making us more important. We are wrong. Someday, God will likely ask for many of those resources back. And when our minds are declining, and our hands no longer can produce music at the piano, we will be startled by the fleeting nature of earthly gifts.

2. Bragging places trust in human device. Amazingly, it's not humility that is opposite of pride; it's FAITH. Note the structure of Proverbs 28:25, "He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife: but he that putteth his trust in the Lord shall be made fat." Do you see how the sentence acts like a weighted scale? On one side we have pride, and on the other side we have trust (faith) in the Lord. Faith really IS the victory over every sin we face, including pride. Humility is a by-product of faith in the Lord. Pride is trusting in self, and bragging is the fruit of that misplaced trust. And as is so often the case, "The bigger the mouth, the smaller the man." Give God all the glory for your successes, and you'll never be accused of exaggeration.

3. Bragging tramples on the needs of those around me. Philippians 2:4 says, "Look not every man on his own things, but every man on the things of others." Our focus is not on how we can take care of ourselves, but always on those around us and on their needs. Whatever abilities and gifts God has lent us are for His will and to serve others, not to claim the glory for ourselves. Competing for attention by matching boast for boast ("Your team won by 35 points? Well, we once won a basketball game by 55!") does not humble the other person; it merely ignites their sinful desire to prove themselves even more. Usually it's our own pride that reacts to the pride in others and wants to fill the position of "humbling" them. We are pretty wretched creatures, without the help of the Holy Spirit to change us and control us! First Corinthians 13:4 - 5 remind us that "Charity . . . is not puffed up . . . seeketh not her own."

4. Bragging robs me of God's rewards for me. When the disciples grew frustrated with the Pharisees, who exalted themselves in the streets with costly robes and Old Testament Scripture verses plastered to their foreheads, noses in the air and self-righteousness emanating from their loud, lengthy, fleshly prayers, Jesus simply said, "They have their reward." We serve a Christ Who commanded us to pray in closets, figuratively reminding us to seek a higher reward than the praise of man. So pity the bragger. He has his reward.

Deer Hunting

So . . . Deer hunting has not been what we had hoped this year. (In other words, no deer.) I'm not sure why no deer (experts can enlighten us on what we're doing wrong), but today it didn't matter. Here's why: Jason has been sitting out in the woods every free morning since October, either with David (bow hunting) or the twins (gun). Since he rises early for his bus job, as well as on Sundays... for preaching, I doubt that he has slept in past 4:30 AM more than once or twice in about 8 weeks.

Last week, after another unsuccessful hunt, Jonathan came home and said, "Next Saturday, I'm taking David hunting so Dad can sleep in." And he did. This morning as I dropped them off at our hunting spot at 5:00 AM, and watched Jonathan help David get his gear into the woods and navigate past the electric fence (on the farm where they have permission to hunt), it suddenly wasn't about deer any more. I was thankful for Jonathan sacrificing an early Saturday morning (and most of the day) for his brother and his dad, and I was thankful for the responsibility that Jason has taught both of the boys. I was nothing but a chauffeur and a bystander, as they collected all their gear and trekked out there in the dark, reminding each other of what they needed for their hours in the deer blind. As I watched them walk together into the darkness, I realized that the deer is just an accessory. I already had the real reward.

Gift-Giving Principles

This time of year, as we scan the Black Friday ads, we all wonder what we should be buying (or making) for our children for Christmas.  May I encourage you with some thoughts about gift-giving, especially regarding our children?

1.  Remember that God made your budget.  To complain is to accuse God.  If you and I can’t afford the latest electronics for our children, it’s not worth crying about.  God is never a debtor;  He gives well, and if He has chosen to limit your budget more severely than those around you, be thankful for what you can do.  Teach your children to be thankful and not to compare themselves with others who have more.  “Let patience have her perfect work.”  God has good reasons for every limitation He places into our lives. 

 

2.  Never, never, never go into debt over Christmas gifts.  Material debt, for non-essentials, is dishonest.  We like to make our friends and children happy at Christmas, but we must be honest about our budgets.   We can say that Christmas isn’t about the toys, but when we borrow from 2014 to pay for them, we reveal our true motives.  How many Christmas gifts have lain unattended in dresser drawers—or even been broken—while weary parents tried to pay for them for six more months?

 

3.  We must never rob God while trying to please our children.  The Bible commands us to be consistent with our tithes (10% of our gross income given to God’s work) and offerings (extra gifts that we give to missionaries and other notable ministry projects).  It’s easy at Christmas time to “borrow” from those necessities in order to buy our children what everyone else has.  “Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.”  Matthew 6:33. 

 

4.  Be on guard for the messages of materialism all around us.  I used to wonder why “Thou shalt not covet” was listed among the ten commandments.  It seemed so pale when situated underneath lying, stealing, adultery, and murder! 

 

Do you hear the messages that are played out on commercials?

 

                 “Your family will love you more if you buy this.”

                 “You will always be happy when driving this.” 

                “People will think you are beautiful if you use this.”

                “You will always have friends if you own this.” 

 

How silly we humans are to believe those lies!  But they work:  advertisers spend millions (maybe even billions?) of dollars each year just for the privilege of coming into our living rooms for 30 – 45 seconds and tell us that.  Turn off the commercials (or even the TV entirely!).   Imagine those shiny toys at a Goodwill store next summer.  Because many of them will be—and you can buy it then, for $2.00! 

 

Be careful about buying toys that do all the thinking for your kids—besides the fact that you will be buying batteries every other week, they rob your kids of the ability to make their own fun. 

 

5.  Focus on others.  The greatest joy really is in giving, not receiving.  Last weekend, a friend came to me with an unusual request.  She is going through a terribly deep sorrow right now, and as she handed me an envelope, she said,  “I don’t have much happiness in my life right now.  Just promise me that when you open this, you will smile.  That will make me feel better.”  I am so touched by her perspective.  Our children need to discover the joy of serving and reaching out to others.  Maybe a gift toward relief in the Philippines, or an hour singing carols at the nursing home, will help them to focus on how they can do a small part to relieve some of the enormous suffering in this sad world. 

 

6.  Buy gifts that make your children better people.  Gift-giving is a wonderful opportunity to show love, share your values,  and to help to shape our children’s character.  Since our oldest are turning 17 years old tomorrow and our youngest is just 4, I have a pretty good idea which toys last and which ones break; which ones get used and which ones get played with.  Joshua’s little shelf of toys is made up almost entirely of hand-me-downs from his older siblings.  Here’s what has lasted since 1996:

 

*Building toys:  Waterproof and almost unbreakable (even if Dad steps on one in the middle of the night  . . . the toys are unbreakable; Dad is not! ), you can’t go wrong with Legos (all sizes), wooden blocks, and Lincoln Logs.  I’m seeing K’nex now, and I’m sure they will be on my list soon as well!  We grew up with Tinker Toys too.     

 

*Books.  Not enough can be said for good books in the home.   I won’t make a list (it would be a blog in itself), but be sure to purchase a copy of Honey for a Child’s Heart  by Gladys Hunt for a pretty comprehensive book list and book reviews.  I’ve been known to grab that book and just comb my way through Amazon and eBay for Christmas gifts (often 99 cents plus shipping). 

 

*Hobbies.  Woodcarving sets, tools, sewing machines (maybe the only justification for Black Friday), hunting gear, weight set (again, ours came from a garage sale for $5—don’t break the bank!), camping gear, jump ropes, yo-yo’s,  knitting/crocheting/cross-stitch kits, scrapbooking materials, journals and pens, sports balls, sleds (if you live near snow), music books, sketch pads and pencils, paint sets, kitchen items, etc.   Last year, we used some of Joshua’s Christmas money toward wood, and his brother helped Dad to build him a little sandbox under the tree outside.   Don’t be afraid to buy discounted items.  All of our roller-blades come from Goodwill or garage sales. 

 

*Imaginative play.  Little people, dolls, cars, trains, army men (yes, the ones who hold guns!), animals and barns, dress up clothes.  My mom once bought a wedding dress for $5.00 at a garage sale.  Most.Favorite.Toy.Ever. among the little girl cousins in this family!  My favorite home video is of Kaitlyn (age 9) racing across the lawn in that wedding dress, chasing Louie, her cousin’s dog. 

 

*Board games.  Not “bored games,” but get the ones that are really fun!  Monopoly, Uno, Battleship, Stratego, Dominos, mancala, Settlers, Sorry!, Candyland, Skip-bo.  We learned Dutch Blitz from a missionary to England, and we got hooked.   Puzzles are a fun family project too. 

 

*Educational and spiritual DVD’s and CD’s, science projects (Hobby Lobby will get your imagination going). 

 

*Spiritual growth.  A new Bible, a devotional journal, a book about the Christian life. 

 

*Yourself.  What do you do well?  My mother-in-law once sewed the twins each their own apron and gave them a package of muffin mix.  They had so much fun cooking for us that night!  Memories last longer than toys.  And of course we still have those precious little aprons! 

 

*Practical.  Curling irons, stockings full of deodorant (especially if you have a seventh-grader around), underwear (why buy it in January when you can call it a “gift”?), anything they have been borrowing from you lately. J    

 

Merry Christmas! 

 

“We love Him because He first loved us.”  What a gift!  What a Savior!  We have so much to celebrate. 

 

 

Arrows

My son David recently reminded me of an important principle in parenting. Our kids are arrows, the Bible says--defined not by how cute they are inside the quiver, but by how well they soar when they are released from the bow. 

David loves archery, and his prized possession is his official bow (lefty, of course), and his favorite hobby is target practice. He had an arrow that looked fine to me, but he could detect that there was a flaw in its design. A slight flaw, but one that made him too nervous to shoot with it. Sure enough, not long after, when he applied slight pressure to his arrow, it completely broke. It was split inside, beneath the visible surface. Had David shot it from his bow, it would have flown poorly and even damaged his hand. 

I was reminded of my job as a parent. There is a defining moment in my children's lives when I will have to let them go. The test of my parenting is not how nice things look here, where I can control their environment. The test is how well they will soar. Inward flaws, barely discernible now, will produce a split. As I think of my friends who are in that "letting go" process right now, taking your kids off to college and releasing the bow trigger for the first time, I am soberly reminded of the short time I have with these "arrows" before God asks for them back for His service. They were not given to me to keep for myself, but to release. And I am reminded of the grave importance of praying each day, earnestly pleading with God, on behalf of my children that God will preserve their integrity and save them for Himself.

Thoughts on Getting Our Kids to Church on Time

Just some thoughts on getting our kids to church on time . . .
Why do we all find it such a difficult challenge to be on time for Sunday school and church? Most husbands (and many wives) leave for work before sunup each weekday morning; and the kids can make it to the bus stop or the homeschool desk, combed and clean, bright and early, five days a week . . . . And then Sunday morning arrives. ...Even though church typically starts at least an hour or two later than our school days, we still find ourselves struggling all morning. Someone can’t find a hair brush, or a barrette. Who forgot to fold the black socks? Where’s my Bible? She’s taking too long in the bathroom! Even attitudes can naturally just seem edgier on Sunday mornings, if we’re not careful. And despite that extra hour to get ready . . . Sunday morning becomes a battlefield.

Because . . . That’s exactly what it is.

Although many people question how valuable church attendance really is anymore now that we have online “fellowship” and TV or live-streamed preaching, there still remain two tenacious individuals who believe with all their hearts that church attendance really does matter: God and Satan. You and I are in the cross-hairs of Satan’s attack against God, in what others have well-coined his “long war” against God.

Before we believe that these Sunday morning “battles” are just not worth the struggle, let’s remember first of all that Christ loves the church died specifically for her. He commanded us not to neglect “the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is . . .” (Heb. 10:25). He deliberately “added to the church” the new converts of Acts 2. Most of Paul’s epistles are addressed to churches. The spiritual gifts are specifically to be used to build up the church (I Corinthians 14:12). Church is where we collectively worship God, give tithes and offerings to support His work, pray for the needy and lost, and encourage others. Entire passages of the New Testament outline how the church is to be run—right down to the qualifications for being a pastor or deacon, and how to take care of widows.

This explains why Satan hates church so much, and why church attendance is almost always the first area he attacks in a Christian’s life. Shut down American churches, and missionaries come home from the field because of lack of support; local communities lose their Gospel witness; and sin abounds as Christians experience defeat and discouragement and backsliding. Church matters, and Satan is happy to use whatever tools lie at his disposal to keep us out of church: other hypocrites; an offensive word; neglect of Christians toward one another; or even an uncooperative toddler on a rainy Sunday morning.

I’ve parented a few of those unhappy toddlers. My diaper bag, for many years, included an extra stick of deodorant—and could have used a mobile shower, had they been invented. The Sunday morning marathon is rugged work. To compound my dilemma, my husband is in the ministry, which means that he has always gone early to the church. Getting newborns and toddlers and preschoolers fed, dressed, and ready at the door for his return pick-up at 9:00 was the most intimidating challenge of my week until my kids were old enough to get ready on their own. Nowadays, since my kids are older and more independent, I’m more like a cheerleader (although not always the perky, happy kind . . .), shuttling people through the bathroom and out the front door.

Maybe your Sunday routine could use some strategies. I hope that some of these ideas can help you as you teach your children to learn, from an early age, that going to church is more than an essential habit: it’s a privilege worth getting up early for.

1. Fight spiritual warfare spiritually.

When every Sunday morning seems to result in a temper flare-up, or a lost set of keys, or a baby with exploding “dyna-diapers”—your problem is more than a coincidental breakdown of organization. Satan hates seeing you in church, and so he attacks. The Bible promises us two things: First, that if you “resist the devil . . .he will flee from you.” Don’t roll over and play dead. Go to church—running late, minus the shoe, with whacky hair—but don’t let the devil act like he won. Jesus already won the battle against Satan at the cross, and “greater is He that is in you, than He that is in the world.” And secondly, the Bible promises us that when we fight our spiritual battles God’s way (Ephesians 6), we will “withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.” Someday, it may be that harried, crazy Sunday morning that God brings to mind in the life of your child as a reminder to him or her how important the Lord’s work really was to you.

2. Plan ahead.
If someone were scheduled to hand out bricks of gold this Tuesday morning at 9:15 on your county courthouse lawn, would you be there? I would be there—and every one of my kids would be in line too! I would make sure my calendar was free; and then we’d be sure to get a good night’s rest the night before—and set an extra alarm or two, so we wouldn’t miss it. I might even set out clothes the night before, or place the kids’ shoes on the dresser, like I do when we go on vacation.

David wrote about God’s judgments that they are “more to be desired . . .than gold.” We plan ahead for what we desire in life. Hearing God’s Word is the most important thing we can desire for our Sunday morning.

Someone has said, “Your morning starts the night before.” If you are struggling with Sundays, it might help to look at your Saturday nights. It’s easy to stay up too late (or let the kids stay up too late) with friends, or watching a DVD, or just running behind on jobs that need to be done. Strategizing Saturday nights is one of the keys to getting to church on time. God has not eliminated the call for sacrifice from the Christian life. Getting to church on time will require a sacrifice of something we would enjoy doing.

Thinking through your morning, step-by-step, helps too. What are the kids going to wear? Is it washed and ironed already, to save a step on Sunday? Maybe take a minute on Saturday night to hunt down those infamous shoes/socks/diaper bag/keys—whatever has been growing feet and wandering off lately.

3. Simplify.

Pancakes and sausages might be a family favorite—but if your Sunday mornings are lacking punctuality, maybe . . . peanut butter on toast, or a cup of yogurt, or cold cereal instead.

It’s easy for us to forget our true mission on Sundays: getting to church and worshipping God. If we get distracted, Sunday breakfast and dinner can become a seven-course banquet; and Sunday dress can turn into a fashion show. We do dress up for church to honor God and the holiness that He represents, but when French-braiding a toddler’s hair becomes the reason we are running late . . . we’ve missed something. It may help to just start chopping everything out of your morning that does not enhance your goal of getting the kids into church on time.

4. Surrender the Day.

Old Testament saints worshipped on the “Sabbath,” their Saturday of rest. But when Jesus rose from the dead on Resurrection Sunday morning, Christians began from that time forward to celebrate the Lord’s Day on Sunday. Christians brought their tithes to church on “the first day of the week.” Just as God asks for the first of our income (the first 10%), He also asks for the first of our week (Sunday).

Recent cultural shifts have reduced “the Lord’s Day” to just one hour, usually a 10:30 – 11:30 AM worship service, but in actuality God has asked us to give Him the whole day in rest, worship, and spiritual renewal. Instead of thinking of just how to survive “that one hour,” surrender your Lord’s Day back to Him. It was His in the first place.

5. Make the Choice.

Luke 10:38 – 42 tells us the story of two sisters, Mary and Martha. They were hosting a meal for Jesus in their home. While Martha was busy, “cumbered about much serving”—probably cleaning and cooking and setting up for the meal—Mary was sitting at Jesus feet listening to Him. Martha wanted Jesus to rebuke her sister for not helping with the responsibilities around her.

I’m intrigued by Jesus’ answer. He did not scold Mary for not helping; and He did not seem bothered that not everything would get done. He simply pointed to the choice before them. He rebuked Martha and said, “Thou art careful and troubled about many things. But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part . . .”

Did you know that you can’t do everything? In our Christian life, we are constantly presented with choices—and rarely is it a choice between “good” and “bad.” Most of us will never have to choose between going to church and . . . robbing a bank, or killing someone. But we might have to choose between going to church and . . . getting caught up on laundry, or visiting with a family member. Our lives are constantly filled with the tension of choosing between what is “good” and what is “BEST.” Serving a banquet to Jesus was a good idea—but it was not the best idea at that time.

God uses those choices to expose our hearts. When given the choice, what will you pick?

Grammar Lessons

Can I do this and not make anyone mad at me? I don't want to be a Grammar Nazi and make anyone embarrassed to post, but it occurred to me that maybe I can lend a hand--much like my fashion-conscious friends help me to come across as more professional (since that's not my gift at all!), and my directionally-proficient friends keep me from driving to Wisconsin when I'm trying reach Jerseyville Wal-Mart.

So just a quick thought--and don't take this as a criticism. I am noticing that one of the most common grammar mistakes for most Americans is the use of the apostrophe. (Jessica and I spotted a mistake on a restroom sign at the Illinois State Fair, so it's pretty common).

Here's an easy way to remember when to use the apostrophe (that's the ' symbol): Use it only if you are showing ownership (possession), or if you are leaving out letters. We would say, "The books are lying on the table." Not, "The book's are lying on the table." or, "The Valentins are noisy people," not "The Valentin's are noisy people." (Because the Valentins really are noisy people--trust me on that one.)

The exception that gets us all tripped up is "it's." Use the apostrophe if you mean to say "it is." Don't use it for the possessive. We would say, "The dog broke its leg," not "The dog broke it's leg." (crazy English . . . )

If that's more information than you wanted this early in the morning--no harm done. I honestly don't mind the mistakes. But sometimes people want to know, so if you're an inquiring mind--there you have it.

Take-away lessons from the Incognito/Martin Case.

There are a few "take away" lessons from the Incognito/Martin case that are worth mentioning--especially for young people. Since our kids enjoy watching football, I'm more interested in how this affects my kids than how it affects Mr. Incognito. The final analysis of these events may exonerate Incognito, but the publicity itself has been punishment. Ultimately, this is about peer pressure, ...and everyone faces these same arguments somewhere along the way. 

1. "Subcultures" don't get to re-write the laws of right and wrong that are already written on everyone's conscience by God--whether it's a sports team, the military, a church, a college dorm, or a job. The NFL will have to decide whether anyone broke official rules--or even laws. That's not mine to decide. But everywhere you go in life, people will try to use that argument on you: "I know this sounds bad, but this is just the way it's done here." You can play that game--whether it's about hiding tax liabilities, or bullying, or cheating your boss out of an honest day's pay--and sometimes you might even win. Sometimes you might lose. Guantanamo Bay soldiers thought they had a small corner of the universe where cruelty against humans was permissible, since these were enemies of the free-world who were very evil people. But when the YouTube video was posted, the rest of the world didn't buy it. (And it's safe to argue here that there is a distinction between "toughen up, man" talk, and trash talk. No one is asking the Dolphins to offer each of their players a blankey.)

2. Victims don't play by our script. Every bully--Facebook bullies, school bullies, youth group bullies--feels "burned" at some point by a victim who went rogue. Inevitably, people want to blame Martin. I'm not here to justify his choices and responses to his teammates. Maybe he appears fickle and wimpy, and unable to relate honestly with his teammates. But how often have we seen people teasing a weaker person, and the aggressors will say, "Don't worry--he takes a joke really well. He can handle it. We're just super good friends that way." Or maybe not. Maybe he's just laughing because he thinks he can please you by playing along. Sometimes they put up with it for decades, and sometimes they snap. When they do, your arguments will disappear into thin air, and like Incognito, you may find yourself wishing you had just stuck with the Golden Rule.

I'm not Incognito's judge, and we all have to answer for our own choices. But this situation isn't new, and young people will face these same choices for the rest of their lives. Just do right, regardless of what those around you are doing, and you can save yourself a whole lot of answering. "The wise man seeth the evil and hideth himself, but the simple pass on and are punished."