Time-saving Strategies for Busy Moms

When I was younger, I used to think that air was limitless.  People who suffer from asthma know better, having felt the unforgettable panic of “oxygen starvation.”  In similar fashion, most of us go through our youth thinking that “time” comes in limitless supply as well, like the air that comes free at gas stations.  We wish it away, watching school clocks plod one second at a time to that magic dismissal.  We count the seconds it takes for five minutes to pass on a road trip, and we make chains to pass the time before Christmas more “efficiently.”

 

And then suddenly, we are middle aged.  The mirror announces that time has been tricking us all along, pretending to be slow-as-molasses when she was really wearing waxed skates.   We look back on entire decades with the same glance we once cast in remembering last summer or the previous school year.  1993?  Why, that was just . . . twenty-two years ago!  Time is now a precious commodity, one to be valued and counted out carefully, like pennies during a recession.  Seconds and minutes matter now. 

 

For those of us who homeschool and add dozens of other responsibilities on top of that, saving those seconds is as valuable as cutting out 40-cent coupons.  Seconds and pennies both add up.  Let me share with you a few of my strategies for saving seconds. 

 

1.  Expect first-time obedience from your kids early on. 

 

Begging a child to eat his banana or arguing about bath time is, among many other things, a waste of time.  Ideally, this training ought to begin before the age of one, when your commands are as simple as requiring him to comply for a diaper change or to lie down in his own bed for naptime.  When the child disobeys (and believe me when I tell you that they all disobey at first), they need a spanking.  I can safely blog that, since spanking is still legal almost everywhere in the U.S.  (If it’s not legal where you live, ask God for wisdom.  My blog is directed to those who have that legal right.)  I’m certainly not promoting child abuse against toddlers, but a simple spanking from a loving mom will set you up as the authority who needs to be obeyed and respected.  And it will save you lots of time and emotional energy when your demands graduate to homework, chores, and curfews.  I am convinced that the number one mistake of first-time parents (and I include our own rookie years here too) is not expecting first-time obedience.  If even puppies are expected to learn to obey simple commands with one word, on the first call, every single time, our kids really can get this.  J  

 

2.  Delegate as much as possible.   

 

Do you know the feeling you get when you discover a generous coupon—unused and now expired, sitting in your stack of papers?  Ugh.  We spent $2 of our own money at the grocery store, when we could have had it free!  Time is money too.  Are you using all your “coupons,” or are you letting them expire?   Mom doesn’t need to be spending all her precious time picking up toys, wiping down the bathroom sink each morning, or emptying all the trash. Those are great jobs for the “littles.”  Set aside perfectionism and turn over the simple jobs to the under-20 crowd.  

 

The key to delegation is two-fold:  Simple and specific.  Most of us are not very good at retaining more than three steps to a process.  Keep it basic.  

 

3.  Learn the value of that five-letter word:  “While.”  

 

For me, that means getting that washer going as early in the day as possible, so it’s working for me while we’re eating breakfast; or giving a spelling test while washing dishes.  Review quiz questions while folding clothes.  You can’t spend the same dollar twice, economists tell us—but you can spend the same second twice by capitalizing on ways to conquer two tasks at once.

 

4.  Stop caring about things that don’t matter. 

 

Unmatched socks or unfolded pajamas stuffed into teenagers’ dresser drawers; old candles, rubber bands, a few stray Christmas tree ornaments,  and unidentified keys lying in close proximity in some random junk drawer.   My OCD friends are probably having trouble breathing right about now, but lean closer, so you can hear me whisper where no one else can hear me:  It doesn’t matter.  There really are some things not worth your time and energy.  If your kids can look presentable in clean, unwrinkled clothes each day, then I won’t tell anyone you haven’t been doing underwear drawer checks.  (And don’t you tell anyone I haven’t either.)    

 

5.  Develop parameters to keep from becoming a slave to your electronics. 

 

Even though I’m a pastor’s wife, I don’t answer the phone during school hours.  If there’s an emergency, everyone we know has my husband’s cell phone, or they can leave a message on the home answering machine. 

 

When I was growing up, we wrote letters—you know, with pens, paper, envelopes—stuff like that.  The average turn-around time for a letter-and-reply was at least two weeks.  Nowadays, with texting, the average turn-around time for message-and-reply is about one minute.  Younger moms who have grown up with texting and Facebooking may find that they need to put their electronics where they don’t hear the notifications every time someone "likes” a Facebook photo or wants to send that infamous text:  “Call me.”  J  Free yourself up and save some time.  Re-adjust your friends’ expectations if they are used to getting a reply back within 30 seconds. 

 

The TV can be a real time waster, too.  Unless there is a national emergency, it’s not usually a good idea to start the day with the TV on.  We get drawn in so easily to human-interest stories that disguise themselves as “news.”  Every hour of TV offers at least 15 minutes of commercials.  None of us have that kind of time! 

 

6.  Discover “auto pilot.” 

 

It’s OK to eat the same food on a regular basis.  Creativity takes time and energy.  If your time is at a premium, as mine is, then you may have to save your “Martha Stewart” meals for later, when you have the time to purchase specialty ingredients and can afford to experiment.  Routines in meals, chores, homeschool classes, and household maintenance save us the time and energy of having to make constant decisions. 

 

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The Apostle Paul exhorts us to be “redeeming the time because the days are evil.”  Time is money; money is time.   Choose carefully how you spend both! 

 

 

 

The View from the Summit: Thoughts on Homeschooling

They’re graduating this spring—my two little “guinea pigs” who ushered this novice mom into the intimidating world of “homeschooling.”  We started our journey two weeks before 9-11, playing numbers-and-hopping games in the driveway before we heard the awful news that broke our hearts and shook our secure little world.  From there, we gingerly waded through spelling tests and math homework, a semester of Christian school, and then eight more years of flash cards and phonics drills, state capitals and presidential history ringing out in the basement of the parsonage.  We switched school rooms three times before landing on a successful location--and even after we landed on our favorite school room, we managed to rearrange and reorganize almost every school year since.  Several tons of notebook paper, a few science fair projects, and a bushel of ballpoint pens later, the twins now study independently through DVD school, self-prepping for their ACT through an online diagnostic site.  Whew!!  We have come a LONG way from hopping in the driveway! 

                                                                                                              

And you will too, new homeschool mom.  It won’t always be “today.”  The fat pencils will someday defer to a lap top or a tablet, and the “Way to Go!” stickers will eventually fall out of style.  If you could join me for a day at the summit of this incredible adventure, what would you see from the top looking back at the jagged, sometimes treacherous path that you are still climbing?  Let me tell you what you would see:

 

1.  Your relationship with your child will be the thing he remembers most about his education. 

 

Science quizzes, book reports, and handwriting tests are all important and can seem overwhelming in the day-to-day crunch, but most of the tests and quizzes themselves will be forgotten.  I promise.  What will not be forgotten is a kind word on a frustrating day; a cheerful mom when the gray, dull January kept everyone indoors; a surprise treat of Valentine M & M’s in the middle of the morning.  Unfortunately, our memories fill up as well with angry words, harsh expectations, and unfair comparisons.  My view from the summit reveals days I wish I could erase.  But life doesn’t come with an eraser.  So, new homeschool mom, just learn from my mistakes:  Never sacrifice your relationship on the altar of false expectation.  I’m thankful for forgiving kids. 

 

2.  You are more important than your curriculum.

 

I remember, many years ago, speaking at a ladies’ banquet when a homeschool mom I didn’t know approached me afterwards to talk “homeschool.”  She mostly wanted to talk “curriculum.”  She wanted to sell me on a particular style (and publisher).   I don’t fault her for loving her curriculum.  There are many choices nowadays, and it is always beneficial to a child if his parents are willing to be 100% supportive of the curriculum or learning style they have chosen.  But it’s not something to debate, and I respect other choices.

 

What curriculum did you use growing up?  The truth is, most of us got an eclectic assortment of lots of different things.  Some of the curriculum sources we used are probably out of business by now—replaced long ago with something “better.”  How did we ever make it in life?  How did kids from Kenya or Haiti end up at Christian colleges with us?  The answer:  Somewhere along the way, we had at least a few good teachers.  Remember, curriculum is a tool, not a magician.  Any curriculum (even those I don’t particularly endorse), in the hands of a plucky and undeterred teacher will produce impressive results.  The teacher, not the curriculum, is the real engine of every classroom. 

 

Curriculum cannot structure our homeschools or teach honesty, discipline, or respect.  They can’t initiate a discussion at the dinner table about the constitution, or point out an apostrophe error on a sign at the state fair.  That’s your job, Mom.  And you can do it.

 

3.  Watch for signals. 

 

Grades tell only part of a story—and sometimes, only a very small part.  The temptation of a new homeschool mom is to weigh too heavily on grades and to ignore other key signals.  Good grades can inflate a perception of “intelligence” (and thus reducing teachability), and poor grades can defeat a child who is simply facing other issues at the time. 

 

Frustration, yawning, boredom, distraction, and the absence of good discussion are all key signals—and they are usually gauging our methods, not our students.  Bored kids don’t need discipline; they need engagement.   

 

Knowledge is housed in a huge castle, with lots of doors.  As women, we tend to rely almost entirely on the door of “words” for entrance--but learning styles vary.  Which key works best for your child?  The answer may surprise you as it did me. Explore the world of auditory, visual, and kinesthetic learning, as well as the impact of dyslexia and right-brained/left-brained skill differences. 

 

4.  Beware of imposing your own limitations on your child. 

 

So you haven’t used Algebra today.  (Neither have I.)  And when it comes to decimals and percentages?  Bah humbug!  A little guesswork is really all it took me to figure out what 40% off of $19.99 was last night at Hobby Lobby.   

 

Unless . . .you are trying to figure out if you’ve been overcharged on a credit card that demands 12.4% interest.  Or what your mortgage payment should be.  Or what the 6% tax charge will be for a riding lawn mower. 

 

Helping our children to soar means to send them beyond our own limited experiences.  Foreign languages, computers, physical education, drama, art, music, and yes, even Algebra, may be more important in your child’s life than they were in yours.  Aim high.  Limited knowledge is a shackle. 

 

 

 

One of the first verses we taught the twins in homeschool came from Ecclesiastes.  I can still hear their chirpy little voices every morning, after we pledged allegiance to the flag and the Bible:  “And whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, DO IT with thy might!”  Amen!  Climb that mountain with courage, mom.  The view from the summit is amazing.

 

 

A Hundred Years from Now . . .

We are already nine days into 2015.  So, how are you coming along with your New Year’s resolutions?  The gyms are full, and our fridges are stocked with salads as we try to remedy the mistakes of 2014 with better health and fitness.  January is often a month of renewal as we use the stillness of a quiet schedule to reflect how our daily decisions affect the overall direction of our lives.

 

One area—in fact, the most important area--of our lives that is worthy of serious reflection is our spiritual welfare.  Jesus said, “What shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world and lose his own soul?”  In today’s vernacular:  What shall it profit us, if we live healthy, productive, successful lives but forfeit the eternal significance of our existence? 

 

Our church often receives calls for assistance, and we are thankful for each opportunity to share Christ’s love with those in need—no matter how small our effort may seem.  We have a stipulation, though, for receiving assistance from our church:  You have to come to a service.  We don’t hand out hundred dollar bills on the street corner.  As I often tell the callers, “A hundred years from now, it will not matter to you that we provided a bag of groceries or helped you with this electric bill.  But it will matter to you that we shared the Gospel with you.”   The question lingers for each of us:  A hundred years from now, what choices will you wish you had made today? 

 

The answer to that is found in a simple phrase that will change your life:  “The daily presence of Christ.”  Too often, Christ is given weekend status.  He is a “Sunday God,” only to be shut back up into silence for the rest of the week.  Letting Christ rule our lives Monday – Saturday, and not just for a few hours on Sunday, will determine the choices we make.  And a hundred years from now, we will not be disappointed. 

 

There are several simple ways to let Christ’s presence rule our lives each day.  I hope these can be an encouragement to you.

 

1.  Study God’s Word each day. 

 

Whether you read through the entire Bible or just a few books this year, there is no such thing as “failure” if you are reading the Bible each day!  In teaching our own children how to study the Bible, Jason tells them to “find the verb.”  (The verb is the action part of a sentence.)  If you are struggling to understand the Bible, maybe it will help to start looking for the verb.  It will help you to find the meaning of each verse more quickly. 

 

2.  Take it to God.

 

 It is easy to get very self-absorbed, either by our perceived successes or our troubles.  Either way, the best way to sense the daily presence of Christ is to take everything to the Lord.  Give Him the credit when things go right; give Him the burden of fixing things when they don’t.   The apostle Paul said, “Pray without ceasing.”  We don’t live with our heads bowed and eyes closed, but we ought to live with a constant conversation in our hearts to the Lord.  When a parking space opens up just in time—thank the Lord!  When the bill is higher than expected—take it to the Lord!  Conversation with God helps us to recognize His daily presence with us. 

 

3.  Spend time with people who love the Lord. 

 

Most people think “church” = “sermon.”  But there is so much more to church than the message.  Hebrews 10:24 tells us that part of our purpose in attending church faithfully is to encourage other people.  Proverbs tells us that “iron sharpeneth iron.”  Christians who love the Lord and walk with Him have a way of sharpening the walk of those around them.  We spend much of our lives getting battered by the world and its unbiblical philosophy.  Time spent with Christians who have been in the Savior’s presence all week is a precious gift!  Value other Christians.  Value church attendance. 

 

4.  Make every decision count for the Lord.

 

We are faced with choices and ideas every day.  The internet is bulging with “human device,” most of it stemming from a worldview that runs counter to God’s view.  The question that rescues us from slipping into worldly thinking is this:  “Where is that in the Bible?”  Brimming with principles and illustrations, the Bible is our foundation.  Every idea we read, every blog we skim through, every venture we consider ought to be tempered with that question in the back of our minds:  “Where is this in the Bible?”   

 

Many online authors these days want to delve more into psychology than the Bible, as though the Bible is not practical for every day life.  The authors are missing something:   The Bible is practical.   When the Bible seems out of reach of my daily struggles, the problem isn’t with the Bible.  The problem is with the reader:  me.  God really does want to teach us how to raise children, how to keep our marriages thriving, and how to handle our money judiciously; and His instruction manual is the Bible.   The daily presence of Christ changes us when we give God His due platform:  a constant awareness of how His Word addresses our daily lives.   

 

Let Christ be the center of each day, and a hundred years from now, He will be the central story of your life.