The View from the Summit: Thoughts on Homeschooling

They’re graduating this spring—my two little “guinea pigs” who ushered this novice mom into the intimidating world of “homeschooling.”  We started our journey two weeks before 9-11, playing numbers-and-hopping games in the driveway before we heard the awful news that broke our hearts and shook our secure little world.  From there, we gingerly waded through spelling tests and math homework, a semester of Christian school, and then eight more years of flash cards and phonics drills, state capitals and presidential history ringing out in the basement of the parsonage.  We switched school rooms three times before landing on a successful location--and even after we landed on our favorite school room, we managed to rearrange and reorganize almost every school year since.  Several tons of notebook paper, a few science fair projects, and a bushel of ballpoint pens later, the twins now study independently through DVD school, self-prepping for their ACT through an online diagnostic site.  Whew!!  We have come a LONG way from hopping in the driveway! 

                                                                                                              

And you will too, new homeschool mom.  It won’t always be “today.”  The fat pencils will someday defer to a lap top or a tablet, and the “Way to Go!” stickers will eventually fall out of style.  If you could join me for a day at the summit of this incredible adventure, what would you see from the top looking back at the jagged, sometimes treacherous path that you are still climbing?  Let me tell you what you would see:

 

1.  Your relationship with your child will be the thing he remembers most about his education. 

 

Science quizzes, book reports, and handwriting tests are all important and can seem overwhelming in the day-to-day crunch, but most of the tests and quizzes themselves will be forgotten.  I promise.  What will not be forgotten is a kind word on a frustrating day; a cheerful mom when the gray, dull January kept everyone indoors; a surprise treat of Valentine M & M’s in the middle of the morning.  Unfortunately, our memories fill up as well with angry words, harsh expectations, and unfair comparisons.  My view from the summit reveals days I wish I could erase.  But life doesn’t come with an eraser.  So, new homeschool mom, just learn from my mistakes:  Never sacrifice your relationship on the altar of false expectation.  I’m thankful for forgiving kids. 

 

2.  You are more important than your curriculum.

 

I remember, many years ago, speaking at a ladies’ banquet when a homeschool mom I didn’t know approached me afterwards to talk “homeschool.”  She mostly wanted to talk “curriculum.”  She wanted to sell me on a particular style (and publisher).   I don’t fault her for loving her curriculum.  There are many choices nowadays, and it is always beneficial to a child if his parents are willing to be 100% supportive of the curriculum or learning style they have chosen.  But it’s not something to debate, and I respect other choices.

 

What curriculum did you use growing up?  The truth is, most of us got an eclectic assortment of lots of different things.  Some of the curriculum sources we used are probably out of business by now—replaced long ago with something “better.”  How did we ever make it in life?  How did kids from Kenya or Haiti end up at Christian colleges with us?  The answer:  Somewhere along the way, we had at least a few good teachers.  Remember, curriculum is a tool, not a magician.  Any curriculum (even those I don’t particularly endorse), in the hands of a plucky and undeterred teacher will produce impressive results.  The teacher, not the curriculum, is the real engine of every classroom. 

 

Curriculum cannot structure our homeschools or teach honesty, discipline, or respect.  They can’t initiate a discussion at the dinner table about the constitution, or point out an apostrophe error on a sign at the state fair.  That’s your job, Mom.  And you can do it.

 

3.  Watch for signals. 

 

Grades tell only part of a story—and sometimes, only a very small part.  The temptation of a new homeschool mom is to weigh too heavily on grades and to ignore other key signals.  Good grades can inflate a perception of “intelligence” (and thus reducing teachability), and poor grades can defeat a child who is simply facing other issues at the time. 

 

Frustration, yawning, boredom, distraction, and the absence of good discussion are all key signals—and they are usually gauging our methods, not our students.  Bored kids don’t need discipline; they need engagement.   

 

Knowledge is housed in a huge castle, with lots of doors.  As women, we tend to rely almost entirely on the door of “words” for entrance--but learning styles vary.  Which key works best for your child?  The answer may surprise you as it did me. Explore the world of auditory, visual, and kinesthetic learning, as well as the impact of dyslexia and right-brained/left-brained skill differences. 

 

4.  Beware of imposing your own limitations on your child. 

 

So you haven’t used Algebra today.  (Neither have I.)  And when it comes to decimals and percentages?  Bah humbug!  A little guesswork is really all it took me to figure out what 40% off of $19.99 was last night at Hobby Lobby.   

 

Unless . . .you are trying to figure out if you’ve been overcharged on a credit card that demands 12.4% interest.  Or what your mortgage payment should be.  Or what the 6% tax charge will be for a riding lawn mower. 

 

Helping our children to soar means to send them beyond our own limited experiences.  Foreign languages, computers, physical education, drama, art, music, and yes, even Algebra, may be more important in your child’s life than they were in yours.  Aim high.  Limited knowledge is a shackle. 

 

 

 

One of the first verses we taught the twins in homeschool came from Ecclesiastes.  I can still hear their chirpy little voices every morning, after we pledged allegiance to the flag and the Bible:  “And whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, DO IT with thy might!”  Amen!  Climb that mountain with courage, mom.  The view from the summit is amazing.