Five Things to Remember When Money Is Tight

Quite a few years ago, a lady called our church asking for food for her family.  She explained that because they had hardly any food left in her house, her children were going hungry.  With the permission of our deacon and my husband, I hurried to the store to buy her $70.00 worth of food, and I even copied out recipe cards to accompany the groceries.  Imagine my surprise later that day when this lady met me in her kitchen and said, “I’m glad you caught us at home!  We just got back from Walmart because we needed to buy early birthday presents for both of our children!”  While I had been out spending church tithes on rice and chicken so her family could eat for another day, they had been out spending their cash on toys and games! 

I wish I could say that this lady is rare.  Unfortunately, many people are ignorant of how to handle money or how to appreciate the money others give them.  As a result of conversations like the one I had with this lady, many churches—including ours-- have had to develop careful policies about financial assistance.  Here are just a few thoughts to help those who may find themselves confused about how to handle their money. 

 

1.  Pinch the pennies.

Imagine standing on the top of a mountain.  As you look at the bottom, there is a heap of trash:   McDonald’s sandwich wrappers, tickets from rides at the county fair, pizza boxes, hotel receipts, chips bags—and sadly, maybe even cigarette butts, tobacco canisters, and beer cans.  For too many people, that trash heap represents where their money went last year.  Christmas came, and they worried that they would not be able to buy presents for their children.  They struggled to pay another electric bill in January, and their children don’t stand a chance of getting braces.  Amazingly, the money had actually come in—but they didn’t recognize it because it was copper, not green.   Remember:  Pennies are money too.  Just because your money is showing up in the form of nickels and dimes instead of crispy “Ben Franklins” doesn’t mean you have no money.  Are the reading glasses your child needs “dressed up” as last year’s Six Flags tickets in disguise?  

 

“ . . .Take heed, and beware of covetousness:  for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.”  (Luke 12:15)

 

2.  Avoid discretionary spending if others are footing your bills. 

Like the lady who let us pay for chicken while she paid for video games, many people are comfortable asking their family, the church,  or the government to pay for their necessities (food, medical, utilities, and gas) while they finance their hobbies, birthdays, and junk food.  Are you purchasing luxury items that others are not able to afford because they are paying for your necessities—either through their taxes, their tithes, their kindness, or even because you owe them money through unpaid bills?   If you find, after receiving benefits from others, that you have money leftover—don’t buy the Wii or the electric piano or the bike.  Instead, pay off all debts and then pray about how much you can reduce your dependence on others.  You may be surprised that you might even have enough money to pay for your own groceries after all.    

 

“But my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”  (Philippians 4:19)

 

3.  Give anyway. 

If the widow with two mites (Mark 12:42) had enough to give, you and I have enough to give.  The Bible says that God asks for a tithe (10%)--regardless of our income level.  To neglect to tithe is to rob God (Malachi 3:8).  Giving back to God increases our faith because it brings us face to face with the reality that our money was never “ours” in the first place.  God blesses a cheerful giver in ways that we cannot guess—sometimes with cold cash, and sometimes with good health and a car that still runs.    

 

“It is more blessed to give than to receive.”  (Acts 20:35)

 

4.  Expand your skills.

Tight budgets make great teachers.  Hair cutting, cooking “from scratch”, mending, gardening, home maintenance, car repair—What we would miss if we had a million dollars!   If “knowledge is power,” then tight budgets are “power boosters.”  Learn how to “DIY”:  do-it-yourself.  And as long as libraries have free internet—what’s not to know?  I remember when I discovered how to puree our meals into baby food and then freeze them in ice cube trays for later.  Voila! We just put a few of those oddly-colored cubes into the microwave and served up three-course meals to our babies whenever they were hungry.   

 

“If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God.” (James 1:5)    

 

5.  Chop, chop, chop!

Cable TV, a second car, dining out as a family, almost all beef, crackers, chips, cookies, lunch meat, juice (of any kind), cereal, candy, pre-packaged dinners, frozen pizza--These are just a few of the things that we simply do not buy on a regular basis.  Little by little over the years, we learned that we did not need them.  What can you shave away and still be happy?  While coupons and credit card rewards tend to get the most publicity when it comes to cutting a weekly grocery bill, the single most effective way to trim a budget is to permanently eliminate unnecessary items.   Make it a challenge to skip the “inner sections” of your grocery store—where bright boxes and pretty packaging make up a large percentage of the grocery bill.  Our grandparents grew up on ketchup sandwiches to survive the depression, but we are a generation that longs for “creature comforts.”  We really can do without and not feel deprived—with a little adjustment, of course! 

 

“And having food and raiment let us be therewith content.”  (I Timothy 6:8)

 

*********************************************************

 

Jesus said it best:

 

“Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not,

neither do they reap, nor gather into barns;

yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. 

Are ye not much better than they?”  (Matt. 6:26)

                           

 

 

 

Four Job Hazards of Homeschooling

Oh, to be a lineman!  Those guys got paid $1000.00 a day to drive up to Detroit this winter and repair electric lines over the Christmas holiday—and double on the holiday itself!  To be able to stand up there in a bucket-truck, repairing electric lines in the sub-freezing temps while the wind whistles and the tree branches groan overhead, while ice crystals form on your hard-hat and gloves and mustache.  Or maybe not . . .

 
Every job has its rewards and hazards.   Linemen deserve every penny (or hundred dollar bill) they earn living away from family over special holidays so that our Christmas tree lights and furnaces can run.  But their paychecks tell only half the story.  Being a lineman comes with enormous job hazards.  I spent three summers working with the grounds crew for our local electric department, and the bulletin board had a black-and-white photo of the electric department crew of 1968.  The photo had never been taken down because that small group included a man who died shortly afterward from electrocution while working on a line.   The hazards of linework had cost him his life. 

 

Homeschooling is an incredibly rewarding experience.  But this job has its hazards too.   I share these thoughts as a homeschool mom—one who has, at times, noticed these same hazards creeping into our own homeschool.  I’ve lost sleep over Algebra and Spanish, but the real enemies of good homeschooling are not about academics at all, but about attitudes.

 

Here are four biggies to watch out for—put on your hard hat.  It’s a tough job out there! 

 

1.  Pride.       “Pride goeth before destruction . . “  Proverbs 16:18

 

If we are not judicious with our encouragement, our children run the risk of thinking “more highly of themselves than they ought to think” (Romans 12:3). 

 

Here are some symptoms of pride:

             *Resentment when corrected—especially by someone outside the immediate family, such as a Sunday school teacher, coach, or grandparent

             *Critical spirit--viewing the world with an "us vs. them" mentality instead of charity

             *Difficulty accepting blame or responsibility

             *Comparison to others—particularly those who don’t homeschool or go to church

             *Inability to socialize, even on a surface level, with other children

 

Yes--children.  Many homeschoolers pride themselves that their children can talk well with adults—which is certainly commendable and refreshing.  But let’s be honest:  Adults are almost always easier to converse with than children.  They don’t usually interrupt.  They listen more than they talk.  They don’t argue about petty details, or try to “one-up” the other speaker.  They are quick to praise and agree, as much as possible, in order to encourage their young friend.  They don’t lie or tell wildly exaggerated stories to puff themselves up.   In a word:  Children demand more humility and unselfishness of each other than adults do.  When given the choice, proud children will seek out adult conversation and ignore the opportunity to be a leader among children their own age.  They tend to view other children as a threat, not potential friends who have real needs. 

 

2.  Selfishness.                "Look not every man on his own things . . ."  Philippians 2:4

 

Sandpaper is an important little tool for a carpenter.  My computer lap desk is hand-crafted, and I would hate to think of carrying it around or setting it on my lap if it had not been sanded before it was stained! 

 

By nature, homeschool tends to be a very comfortable environment.  Homeschoolers don’t have to get up early to wait in the cold for a bus in January.  They don’t have to walk to school in the rain, or wait in line to use a restroom, or feel “starved” by 5^th hour lunch.  They don’t have to deal with broken locker locks, or lost homework, or missing mittens at recess.   “Sandpaper” situations are what make children strong, and many homeschoolers have never been sanded.   This is not good . . .

We ought to deliberately create “hard” situations for our children, in order to challenge and stretch them.  Lack of flexibility is a red-flag, warning us that our children have been allowed to get a little too comfortable.  We mothers need to be careful that we don’t allow our “mothering mission” to overtake our greater “teaching mission.”  It’s not a crime for our sons to experience a little cold while feeding animals outside on a snowy morning.  It is a crime to raise a wimp.  J 

 

3.  Laziness.      “It is good for a man that he bear the yoke in his youth.”  Lamentations 3:27

 

Some tell-tale signs of this hazard—

 *Inability to observe specific parameters (assignment dates and requirements; being on time to events)

*Sloppy work

*Repeated warnings to no avail

*Lack of engagement in the learning process

*Elongated homework times

*Working below grade level, despite being average intelligence

*Constantly asking for help instead of thinking through the directions independently

*Constant silliness

*Babyish words and mispronunciations that are not age-appropriate

*Sleeping in regularly

*Avoiding attainable challenges because it's too much trouble

 

But since Mother knows how to read hieroglyphics, and she wants us to pass spelling even more than we do—why bother to write legibly, or put a name at the top of the page, or turn it in on time? This hazard comes because homeschooling is generally a mother-centered environment.  The Bible commands wives to submit to their husbands (Eph. 5), but that may be the most disobeyed Biblical command among homeschoolers!  Most homeschooling mothers view the homeschool as their own little kingdom, and any suggestions by the father are treated as “too harsh” or “too unrealistic."  Remember what your grandma once said:

                             “Mothers make boys.  Fathers make men.”  J  Listen to Dad. 

 

4.  Fear.            “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear  . . .“  II Timothy 1:7

 

Our overall goal must reach beyond the immediate mission of keeping our children out of the world.   Our higher purpose is to send them right back into the world someday—not as participants in sin, but to make a difference for Christ!  When our kids seek jobs someday as police officers,  pastors, nurses, teachers, accountants, and yes—even homeschool mothers, they will be grateful we prepared them for that moment and did not simply try to spend 18 years hiding from it.      

 

May I share with you one of my greatest burdens for today’s homeschoolers?  Among many homeschooled teenagers that I have seen, there is a strong sense of fear:  Fear of leaving home, fear of the world we live in, fear of failure.   In our zeal to shield our children from sin, how is the preparation process for their futures going?  Are our children open to the thought of going far away to a mission field—or does the thought of leaving our home town scare them too much?  Do our children have any goals beyond high school graduation?  Are our children excited about seeking God’s will for their lives, or are they content rather to wait for us to tell them what they will be doing next?  Are our children willing to share their faith in Christ with others—even strangers—or do they hide behind shyness and reluctance?  Are they academically prepared to seek higher education, or are they intimidated by the thought of being critiqued by a teacher other than their own parents?  Are our teenagers beginning to see the gifts God has entrusted them with, and are they eager to use those gifts for His glory? 

 

The rewards of homeschooling far outweigh these few hazards.  But wear your hard-hat anyway.  Let’s have a “No Casualties” policy!  Our kids are counting on us. 

Did Jesus Really Die on Good Friday? And Why Does It Matter?

Do television commercials really work?  Why do companies spend millions of dollars a year for their 30-second spots---silly jingles and skits that we often mock or try to avoid?  You can be sure that I have never deliberately referenced a commercial while I was shopping, or been deceived enough to say, “I will buy THIS soup, because the lady on TV once said that it was better for me!”  Yet, advertisers know that their job is not to appeal to us on a conscious, decision-making level, but rather simply to create trust and believability.  The commercial is not a mandate for me;  it’s a brainwashing of me.  If the commercial leaves me with the “feeling”, vague and undiscerned, that McDonald’s is “fun” or “clever” or “cool,” then the writers have accomplished their mission.  The issue is credibility, not intelligence. 

 

And Satan knows that, too.  His war on the Bible is generally not waged on the conscious, decision-making level either.  While at times he has employed the use of obvious assault, he is also famously subtle (Gen. 3:1).  Like a commercial writer who knows better than to think I will race out to buy a McRib today just because someone told me to, he is not trying to have a logical, academic discussion with me.  Satan just wants me to doubt God.  We can read our Bibles and go to church, but if Satan can leave us with a vague and undiscerned “feeling” of doubt--that somehow the dots are not being logically connected-- then his mission is accomplished.  He’s good at his game:  He’s been playing it for 6000 years, ever since he first questioned Eve, “Yea, hath God said?”

 

 The credibility of God depends on Scripture.  After all, what do we have of God without the Bible?  Have we seen Him?  People have tried to find God outside the Bible, through mystic experiences and phenomena, but we can argue that those “events” only point to a power.  They don’t identify a source.  If God’s Word is found faulty, the apostle Paul reminds Christians that we are “of all men most miserable.” (I Cor. 15:19) We have staked our eternity on this Book.  It must be right, or misery is indeed ours. 

 

When Jesus was on this earth, He spoke freely of His coming death and resurrection.  He referred to His body as a “Temple.”  He constantly warned his disciples that this “Temple” would be torn down, but that in three days He would “raise it up again.” (Jn. 2:19) Yet, despite all those warnings, John admits that he and his fellow disciples “knew not the Scripture, that He must rise again from the dead.”  (Jn. 20:9)  When the disciples went home on that dark afternoon, leaving the battered body of Jesus in a borrowed grave, they were not waiting for a resurrection. 

 

The credibility and deity of Christ depended then—and still depends today—on the resurrection:  Not just the reality that it took place at all, but also that it took place exactly as Jesus said it would.  And here is where tradition becomes a tool of Satan to dismantle the credibility of Christ. 

For centuries, every denomination (including the Baptists—and I speak as a Baptist), has celebrated Good Friday as the day Jesus was crucified, and Easter Sunday as the day He rose from the dead. 

 

Several Scriptures help to frame the context for this discussion: 

 

Colossians 2:8, “Beware, lest any man spoil you through philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world, and not after Christ.” 

 

John 5:39, “Search the Scriptures.” 

 

II Timothy 2:15, “Study to shew thyself approved unto God.” 

It is our responsibility to question tradition, and to search the Scripture.  Everything we believe and practice must be found in Scripture, or it is merely “tradition of men.”     

 

What does the Bible say about the crucifixion of Christ? 

 

1.  Jesus promised, “For as Jonas was three days and three nights in the whale’s belly; so shall the Son of man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth.”  (Matt. 12:40) 

 

The trouble with our tradition comes with the “three nights.”  Good Friday allows for three partial days, but three nights (even partial nights) would place Jesus’ resurrection on a Monday morning!  Yet, we know that the ladies went to the tomb as soon as dawn broke, “on the first day of the week” (Mark 16:2) to anoint Jesus’ body with spices  (Jn. 20:1), only to discover an angel at the entrance of an empty tomb.  

 

2.  What about the “Sabbath”? 

 

The tradition of Good Friday is the result of misunderstanding the Sabbath.  While most people understand that the Jews celebrated a weekly Sabbath on which rest and holy observance was mandated (Exodus 20:8), John explains what kind of Sabbath the Jews were really preparing to observe as Jesus died on the cross: 

 

“The Jews therefore, because it was the preparation, that the bodies should not remain upon the cross on the Sabbath day, (for that Sabbath day was an high day,) besought Pilate that their legs might be broken, and that they might be taken away.”  (Jn. 19:31) 

                            
John points out that “that Sabbath” was specifically a High (Holy) Day.  This was not the weekly Sabbath, and it was not on a Saturday.   To confuse these two “Sabbaths” is to change the whole story.  The Jews were not allowed to work on either Sabbath, and the story of the crucifixion ironically finds these religious liars orchestrating the execution of an innocent Man and then scurrying to take Him off the cross in time to keep their “Sabbath”. 

The week of the crucifixion there were two Sabbaths.  The observance of the High Sabbath—not a Saturday rest, but the annual celebration of the Passover (when the death angel had “passed over” the believing Hebrew homes)—began at sundown, three hours after Jesus declared, “It is finished!” and died.   Once Jesus was taken to His grave, the Jews hurried home to begin recognizing the annual Passover Sabbath at sundown.  The following day, no one could go anoint Jesus’ body (due to Sabbath restrictions).  The next day, Saturday, they again could not anoint Him because it was now the weekly Sabbath. Did you ever wonder why the ladies did not try to anoint Jesus’ body until He had been in the tomb for three days?  They had to observe two separate Sabbath rests before they could “work”.   The break of dawn, on Sunday morning, was the earliest time they were permitted to arrive at the tomb with their spices. 

 

Equally compelling, though, is what exactly this High Sabbath signifies.  The story of the slavery and exodus of the Hebrews from Egypt culminates with the death of the Passover Lamb.  (See Exodus 12.)  God provided a way for the Hebrews to be spared the final plague (the death of the firstborn child), for anyone who would paint the doorpost of his house with the blood of an innocent lamb—following these specific qualifications for the lamb:   “Your lamb shall be without blemish, a male of the first year:   . . . And they shall take of the blood, and strike it on the two side posts and on the upper door post of the houses, wherein they shall eat it . . . And the blood shall be to you for a token upon the houses where ye are:  and when I see the blood, I will pass over you.”   

 

That night, when the “great cry” rang throughout Egypt as each household made the grim discovery of the death of the firstborn child, the believing Hebrews were spared.  Someone else had died—that spotless lamb, whose blood was still shining in brutal reminder from their door posts, had died in their places that they might live. 

 

Why does it matter?  While it’s unproductive to debate just for the cause of arguing, there is good reason to study this issue out.  Simply:  Because Jesus doesn’t lie.  Either He was in the tomb for three nights, or He wasn’t. Either we can take the Bible literally and seriously, or we can’t.  Opponents of Scripture aren’t afraid to scrutinize the Bible and test its words against themselves, and we ought not to be afraid either.  When people want to attack the credibility of Scripture, what story do they often question?  How many times have we heard people say, “I can believe the ‘God is love’ parts, but I have trouble with stories like ‘Jonah and the whale.’”   Jonah and the great fish, besides being a true and important story in the Old Testament, has an even greater purpose:  It’s where we get the math for the resurrection!  Satan craftily chips away at these “small” details in order to leave us vulnerable to  the greater error of doubt.    

 

And secondly, what does the High Sabbath mean to me?  Two thousand years later, I can look back on that day and see that the High Sabbath was when Someone died for me. While hypocritical priests and cruel Roman soldiers committed the greatest crime in history, God deliberately allowed His Son to be spit on, mocked, scourged, and then savagely hanged on a Roman cross . . . for my crimes.  I should have had to pay for my own sin.  Like all those Egyptian firstborn, I should have died in my own sin, paid my own debt, and suffered in hell forever. 

But there was a Lamb. 

 

When I called on Christ to be my Savior, His blood was painted over the door posts of my own heart.  He covered me in His own blood.  I cannot produce my own righteousness and save myself; only the blood of that perfect Lamb could wash my sin away.  Just as the Hebrews were not instructed to do good works, or perform religious rituals, or demonstrate piety in order to preserve themselves, I also had only one option:  to be covered under the blood of the Lamb. 

 

While it would be proud and foolish to judge others who celebrate Good Friday, or to create a silly debate that detracts from a larger cause, I hope to encourage us all not to allow religious tradition to rob us of the reality of the resurrection, or to cast doubt upon the literal truth of Scripture. 

 

Jesus told it exactly as it came to pass:  He was buried for three days and three nights, and then He rose again, just as He said He would. 

 

“Let God be true, but every man a liar.”  (Romans 3:4)

 

 

Soup's On!

One of the blessings of having six kids growing up in our house is that we are constantly learning how to strategize with our grocery money.  The apostle Paul said, “I have learned to be abased . . .”  The truth is, whether we’re dealing with physical, emotional, or financial hardships—there really is a learning curve!  Maybe you are wondering how to save money in an economy where prices seem to climb and wages seem to diminish.  Have you ever tried making soup from scratch?  Let me encourage you to explore the world of SOUP! 

If you are used to buying canned soups (a costly investment, and not always as healthy as Cambells would have us believe), here is just a little tutorial on soups.   It’s easier than you think, and you will come to appreciate the taste of healthy  food.   

Soup is basically made up of 4 parts, plus seasonings.  You can mix-and-match based on your preferences and the availability of certain foods. 

1.  Stock.  The broth, or the watery part of the soup, makes up most of the soup and creates the flavor you and I love on a cold, winter day.  So what do you feel like having today?  You can make your own stock in several ways.  Do you have any bones leftover from meat?  We aren’t accustomed to buying large cuts of meat very often at our house, but since we just finished Christmas, I happen to have a ham bone in my fridge.  You can also use chicken bones, beef bones—really anything you have on hand.   If you don’t have bones (and I often don’t), and you want to “cheat” a little, you can use powdered seasoning.  The nutritional purists will be alarmed at this point, but seasonings  do make vegetables very yummy.  Orrington Farms, Kitchen Bouquet, and Mrs. Jamisons are all nice brands of broth base that come in little jars.  Just a few tablespoons go a long way.   (I’ll leave it to the food blogs to educate us on how to make homemade broth out of chicken feet. )  Vegetable stock is also very common.  Tomato juice is handy for me, since I have oodles of tomato juice on hand from last summer. 

2.  Protein.  Meat is the obvious choice, but of course—we often don’t have meat on hand.  God gave us a much healthier, less expensive product for protein:  Beans.  If your family can handle beans, have at it!  J  One bag of dry pinto beans runs between $1.19 -1.50, depending on where you shop, and it easily feeds a family of 8 (usually with leftovers).  Here’s the key:  ALWAYS SOAK DRY BEANS THE DAY BEFORE YOU WANT TO COOK THEM.  Just dump them into a bowl with water covering them, and leave them alone.  The next day, cook them in a pot for about 3 hours (or less—just test them for softness).   The price difference between dry beans and canned beans is amazing.  Don’t be afraid to soak and cook your own beans.  Another overlooked protein source is dairy.  Creamy soups have protein because of the milk—just not as much protein as bean soups.  Remember: it’s the protein that keeps us from getting hungry.  The higher the protein content of your soup, the longer it will last. 

3.  Starch.  You can skip this step—especially if you’re dieting-- but if you want a thicker soup, starch will stretch a recipe.  Rice, barley (*pre-soak, just like beans), diced potatoes,  corn,  noodles, and even flour (in cream soups) are all fillers for soups.  Just add the starch about an hour before you want to eat the soup.  Beans can double  here as a starch as well. 

 4.  Vegetables.  In soup, vegetables don’t taste like vegetables; they taste like stock.  When our son, Nathan, was a baby, he LOVED carrots that had stewed in a pot with roasted chicken.  He used to cry when the carrots were gone.  At least one hour before you want to serve the soup, chop up any vegetables you have on hand:   carrots, celery, an onion, a bag of peas, tomatoes, slivers of sweet potato, bell peppers, cauliflower, spinach, kale—the list really is endless.  And of course, all varieties of  beans make an appearance on this list as well!  They really are a gift to the thrifty economist!

 The longer the soup simmers on medium/low heat, the more tender the vegetables, and the more likely the veggies will taste like your broth.   *Add water if your soup starts to cook down.

5.  Extra seasonings—salt, pepper, thyme, etc.  Everything is optional, per your taste and special needs.   Some broth bases are already seasoned, so don’t over-salt.   Many soups come with interesting variations for “toppers” to serve with them—sour cream, corn chips, grated cheese, croutons, etc.

 

So now you can see how some familiar American soups were “built.”  This list is not exhaustive, but I hope that it inspires you to try some new soups in 2014—a healthy, frugal choice that will save you money in the check-out line as well as in the doctor’s office!

 

Stock    +       Protein         +          Starch    +                 Vegetables    =       Soup   

Ham bone         pinto beans                  pinto beans                      variety                  Ham & Bean

Tomato             Venison                        kidney or pinto beans   tomatoes                            Chili

Chicken            chicken                        noodles or rice                   variety                      Chic. Noodle

Beef broth          beef                                 barley                            variety                     Beef & Barley

Chicken             milk, cheese                      flour                        broccoli, onion, celery         Broccoli

Tomato          Beef or venison                 noodles                             variety                         Veg.  Beef

Tomato         Beef or vensison              black beans, corn               variety                                 Taco

Chicken                milk, cheese                      potatoes                     carrots, onions                   Potato

Chicken             chicken or rabbit              northern beans                    variety                      White Chili

Chick. or ham        split peas                            split peas                         carrots, onions                  Split Pea

tomato             lentils                               lentils                               variety                                 Lentil

 

 

 

 

What Jesus Can Do

(I appreciate my husband Jason showing me this truth from Scripture--)

Homosexuality is not a new sin, and the reaction we are seeing is not new either. In Genesis 19 is the story of Lot, an unprofitable believer, trying to keep the homosexuals of his city from assaulting his guests (angels in disguise). In verse 7, Lot weakly appeals to the homosexuals as friends and says, "I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly." In verse 9, here is their response: "This one fellow (Lot) came in to sojourn, and he will needs be a judge: now will we deal worse with thee, than with them." In other words--"You are judging us, and now we will be harsher with you than what we had intended for your guests." Sound familiar?

While there is no place for ridicule, name-calling, self-righteousness, or bullying toward any sinner, we do well to instruct ourselves from the Bible rather than from a politically-correct culture that has long despised the convicting power of Scripture. "The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul." (Psalm 19:7) The same Bible that teaches that God loves sinners teaches us what a sinner is. To skip over the bad news is to nullify the good news.

This Christmas, let us not forget what the name Jesus means, as His coming was told to Joseph: "And thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins." (Matthew 1:21)

The power of the blood of Christ is not just about getting us into heaven "someday," but also in delivering us today from the power of sin in our lives. And so, from one sinner to another--Jesus loves you. He came to save you from your sins. What a Savior!

Six Parenting Traps to Avoid

My brothers like to reminisce about the time they fooled me into running out into our garden to “see something, quick!”  They both stood excitedly in the soft, spring dirt, waving their hands and shouting.  I ran out to see “it,” and promptly fell into a hole they had dug and disguised under straw.  Having had to endure my bossiness and my many hours in front of the mirror each day (trying to figure out how to use a curling iron), they had appointed themselves my “Ministers of Humility.”  And that day, they were profoundly rewarded. 

Satan has laid traps for us as well.  (Please ignore the metaphor here that compares my brothers to “Satan.”  They really are wonderful people!).   Of course, there are more than six traps, but here are six that I can relate to because I’ve done or been tempted to do all of them.  Maybe you have too.  Let’s talk about these pitfalls, with the hope of avoiding them next time Satan waves his hands and draws us toward them. 

 

1.  Not aiming for the heart.  Solomon, in his earlier (and wiser) years, implored, “My son, give me thine heart.”  (Proverbs 23:26)  Those of us with strong personalities can drag good behavior out of anyone, through intimidation and filibuster.  But that is no guarantee we have our children’s hearts.  One very quick and easy test is this:  “What do my children do when I’m not around?”  Selective obedience is a tell-tale sign that our children are simply enduring a set of rules, which will be abandoned as soon as they “get out” (or even before).   Poor attitudes, provocative  Facebook posts and “selfies”, lack of communication with authority, rebellious friends, a curiosity toward the world and a lack of interest in the Lord, inappropriate music, photos, or videos on their phones, and a muted desire to be around family all point to a heart that has strayed.   Parents who think they can “force” that heart back will be frustrated.   Hearts must be drawn, not dragged.  And of course, our primary mission is to make sure that Jesus has our children’s hearts in the first place, through the salvation that He gives and the power of His Holy Spirit throughout their Christian life.  We do well to pray that God will use anything or anyone to allow our kids will get caught when they are getting involved with secret sin.  Sure, it’s embarrassing, and comes with high consequences the older they get.  But what’s your goal?    

 

2.  Financing things we don’t believe in.  Otherwise known as “enablement,” this practice has deadly consequences spiritually.  Jesus said, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.”  (Matthew 6:21)  Parents who believe in godly living do themselves and great disservice to hand out spending money to kids who promptly buy inappropriate CD’s, revealing clothes, and concert tickets to groups mom and dad do not endorse.  At our church, we have a benevolent fund.  When people call for assistance, we are sometimes able to purchase groceries for them, fill a prescription, or put some gas into their car.  But we never, ever hand them cash.  We have a responsibility to make sure that our benevolent fund is financing formula and heart medicine, not weed and whiskey.  If you cannot control what your children buy or trust them to make wise choices (“He buys his video games from his friends at school!”), then stop the cash flow.   For teenagers who have jobs, call a “spending freeze” and send those paychecks to the bank (they have camp to pay for next summer, right?).   

 

3.  Not understanding those “devices.”  I hate to admit it, but it was my son who first informed me that his ipod had a parental control feature on it.  When it came to researching ahead of time—Epic. Fail. on my part, for not using Google.   Thankfully, Jonathan helped me out on that one.  We owe it to our children to know everything their devices are capable of doing.  We can’t say it loudly enough, but let’s try:  USE FILTERS.  Every internet-capable device in our homes—smart phones, ipods, ipads, you-name-it, should have an internet filter.  It’s good for Mom and Dad, too.  Safe Eyes is just one of many filters, but we are thankful for friends who tipped us off to this good program.  We receive a Weekly Usage Summary on each user, including data that shows any attempts to enter forbidden sites.   This is not because I don’t trust my kids; it’s because I don’t trust the devil.  He hates my kids.  Remember:  The devil is a fool, but he’s not an idiot.  He knows our weaknesses even more than we do, and the Bible says he prowls around, “seeking whom he may devour.” (I Peter 5:8)  Our only safety is to walk with Someone wiser than all of us:    “Greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world.”  (I John 4:4)

 

4.  Failing to enjoy the treasure of children.  Life is busy, and we’re going to be late—Get your shoes on and meet me in the car.  Put that down—we’ve got to go!  And life spins us along, like a soccer ball, until we suddenly look back and realize our kids are almost grown up.  I have a memory—It should be a good memory, but instead it’s a convicting one.   I was running late to choir practice on Sunday night.  I had Kaitlyn swinging along in her car set, with an over-stuffed diaper bag slung over my shoulder and the twins each held at the wrist as we flew across the parking lot.  Suddenly, Jonathan bent over to examine a small piece of gravel in the parking lot.  I didn’t have time that evening for gravel, but before I could finish my lecture and yank him along—a lady came up behind us and sweetly said to Jonathan, “Did you find a pretty rock?”  Right there in the middle of the parking lot, she bent down to study it with him.  I was hostage to their science lesson, and since I couldn’t lecture her, I stood there awkwardly, watching her do what I should have had time to do myself:  Enjoy life with my son.  She wasn’t seeking to preach to me that day, but her sermon was not soon forgotten.   Slow down.  Our kids are attracted to people who like to be with them.  Either I can make it clear that I cherish my children and enjoy them—laughing at their goofy stories  and appreciating their talents, choosing to be with them in my free time—or I may find myself replaced by someone who can appreciate them more. 

 

5.  Preaching sermons we don’t believe or understand.   We discredit ourselves when we dive into topics we have not studied out.  II Timothy 2:15 is not a command to “read” the Bible; it’s a command to “study.”  Our children have special radar that enables them to detect when we are simply parroting a sermon we heard on the radio or a warning we read in an article, rather than prayerfully developing genuine convictions.  Be real.  “Easy come, easy go” standards, that constantly get tweaked because we don’t have solid convictions to stand on, produce rebellion.  Eventually, our kids quit listening.   I remember a man who loudly denounced a violent video game-- later purchasing that same game for his son!   I agree with his original sermon (we don’t do Grand Theft Auto here either), and  his severe shift to the wrong side of that issue  did more damage than just in the video game arena.  His son is learning not to place much stock in “early polling.”  Dad will cave eventually.   We have to do our own homework before we preach the sermon, and then stick by our well-proved convictions. 

 

6.  Selfish parenting.  Ugh.  I’m not proud of the time I made some clothes for Jessica that were just ugly.  She balked at wearing them (I’m not exactly a tailor), and I tried making her guilty for not “appreciating all that work!” She reluctantly wore them, out of obedience, but it was clearly under duress!  She’s been sweet to accept my apology and laugh about that these years later, but it wasn’t very funny at the time.  When we impose burdens on our children simply to satisfy our own selfishness, we display immaturity and—even worse—we train our children to live with false guilt.  Is it really a sin to dislike clothes that are universally perceived as “ugly”, just because we are proud of our masterpiece?  What about making a child feel guilty for losing a baseball game-- or mispronouncing a word or not being popular or not having a boyfriend or being overweight or not being musically inclined or stuttering? Even openly criticizing or mocking others outside of the family for their physical anomalies and mistakes communicates to our children, “You’d better not do that either!”  The trouble with selfish parenting is that those children eventually learn how to ignore guilt—which is not a skill we want our kids to be good at!  They need to learn to resolve genuine guilt (the kind that is always the result of actual sin, not just feeling inadequate because we failed to please others), through repentance and confession of sin (Proverbs 28:13).  False guilt over natural human behavior is nasty stuff because it sets our kids up to quench the Holy Spirit in the areas that really matter. 

 

We’re all students.  May the Holy Spirit be our teacher, not the world! 

"Let another man praise thee..."

Proverbs 27:2, "Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth . . ."

Bragging. It's like body odor--It always seems to smell worse on others than on ourselves. Why do we love to brag? Why do we promote ourselves, generously patting ourselves on the back and sharing stories that always place us in the best light (even at the expense of others)? Some brief thoughts on boastfulness, and... what it really tells about each of us:

1. Bragging ignores the Source of my gifts.

James Small wrote the poetry for the hymn, "I've Found a Friend, Oh, Such a Friend." His second stanza contains this compelling thought: "Naught that I have mine own I call, I hold it for the Giver. My heart, my strength, my life, my all are His, and His forever." Whatever thing we hold precious about ourselves that prompts us to brag--our abilities, intelligence, appearance, heritage--is merely a borrowed resource, with the intent of honoring God. Like a toddler who proudly carries his daddy's drill, we sometimes think that these borrowed tools have the effect of making us more important. We are wrong. Someday, God will likely ask for many of those resources back. And when our minds are declining, and our hands no longer can produce music at the piano, we will be startled by the fleeting nature of earthly gifts.

2. Bragging places trust in human device. Amazingly, it's not humility that is opposite of pride; it's FAITH. Note the structure of Proverbs 28:25, "He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife: but he that putteth his trust in the Lord shall be made fat." Do you see how the sentence acts like a weighted scale? On one side we have pride, and on the other side we have trust (faith) in the Lord. Faith really IS the victory over every sin we face, including pride. Humility is a by-product of faith in the Lord. Pride is trusting in self, and bragging is the fruit of that misplaced trust. And as is so often the case, "The bigger the mouth, the smaller the man." Give God all the glory for your successes, and you'll never be accused of exaggeration.

3. Bragging tramples on the needs of those around me. Philippians 2:4 says, "Look not every man on his own things, but every man on the things of others." Our focus is not on how we can take care of ourselves, but always on those around us and on their needs. Whatever abilities and gifts God has lent us are for His will and to serve others, not to claim the glory for ourselves. Competing for attention by matching boast for boast ("Your team won by 35 points? Well, we once won a basketball game by 55!") does not humble the other person; it merely ignites their sinful desire to prove themselves even more. Usually it's our own pride that reacts to the pride in others and wants to fill the position of "humbling" them. We are pretty wretched creatures, without the help of the Holy Spirit to change us and control us! First Corinthians 13:4 - 5 remind us that "Charity . . . is not puffed up . . . seeketh not her own."

4. Bragging robs me of God's rewards for me. When the disciples grew frustrated with the Pharisees, who exalted themselves in the streets with costly robes and Old Testament Scripture verses plastered to their foreheads, noses in the air and self-righteousness emanating from their loud, lengthy, fleshly prayers, Jesus simply said, "They have their reward." We serve a Christ Who commanded us to pray in closets, figuratively reminding us to seek a higher reward than the praise of man. So pity the bragger. He has his reward.

Deer Hunting

So . . . Deer hunting has not been what we had hoped this year. (In other words, no deer.) I'm not sure why no deer (experts can enlighten us on what we're doing wrong), but today it didn't matter. Here's why: Jason has been sitting out in the woods every free morning since October, either with David (bow hunting) or the twins (gun). Since he rises early for his bus job, as well as on Sundays... for preaching, I doubt that he has slept in past 4:30 AM more than once or twice in about 8 weeks.

Last week, after another unsuccessful hunt, Jonathan came home and said, "Next Saturday, I'm taking David hunting so Dad can sleep in." And he did. This morning as I dropped them off at our hunting spot at 5:00 AM, and watched Jonathan help David get his gear into the woods and navigate past the electric fence (on the farm where they have permission to hunt), it suddenly wasn't about deer any more. I was thankful for Jonathan sacrificing an early Saturday morning (and most of the day) for his brother and his dad, and I was thankful for the responsibility that Jason has taught both of the boys. I was nothing but a chauffeur and a bystander, as they collected all their gear and trekked out there in the dark, reminding each other of what they needed for their hours in the deer blind. As I watched them walk together into the darkness, I realized that the deer is just an accessory. I already had the real reward.